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iam1
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Reged: 06/17/09
Posts: 165
Loc: Georgia
Re: Hi, feel so devastated, can somebody help me please...
      04/06/13 01:33 PM


I'm going to tell you like I tell everybody who just finds out they or a loved one has HIV - BREATH! Deeply. In and out. Don't ever forget to stop breathing.

Two things you NEED to know - 1) There is very good treatment for people with HIV. Life expectancy is on the order of many years. We're talking 40 years and more. And, 2) You have joined the world of sero-discordant couples. In a relationship where one person is HIV+ and the other isn't. These couples tend to stay together nutil they decide to not stay together. Gee.... Sounds like a couple of people who are both HIV- or both HIV+. Who'da thunk?

You are not the first. You won't be the last.

What changes do you have to make that other couples don't? We'll be requiring you to paint your house electric blue and dye your hair neon yellow. Oh, and you'll also have to practice safer sex habits. This means condom use EACH and EVERY time you have penetrative sex. You'll have to wash the dishes after eating. You'll have to wear a shirt when you go to the store. You'll be paying the electric and phone bills monthly. And, for dinner I'd recommend the "food". You may take a vacation from time to time depending on work and financial conditions. You can go to the movie. You can go to the park. You can even go out dancing if that's what you want to do.

What's that? For the most part that's what every other couple does? Well, why didn't someone tell me that things weren't going to change drastically?

Levity aside - HIV can be a serious malady. It's a disease. Nothing more. Nothing less. It's not a sign from any God telling anyone that they have sinned and are going to rot in hell for eternity. It's not part of anybody's plot to take over the world by wiping out selected groups of people inhabiting the Earth. It's a disease for which there are excellent doctors and treatments. Depending on your bf's status with this disease he may or may not have to start treatment. That would require the added burden of taking meds everyday without fail. And, now he's going to have to go to the doctor regularly.

You obviously love this person you're with. Continue loving him! I wish everyone had someone by their side through this. It can actually be more emotional than anything else now days. How does your bf feel? Have the two of you cried about it together? Have you told him you're planning on sticking with him through it all? As bad as you feel he must be feeling worse. Seek couple's counseling if it's offered in your area. With a counselor, a religious person (they're not ALL closed minded!), or someone else living in your area who is also a serodiscordant couple.

Get yourself tested regularly. You don't WANT to have HIV, but if you do you want to know as soon as possible and start seeing the doctor. And, have I mentioned - USE A CONDOM! Life goes on. This isn't an end. It's a beginning into a new chapter for the two of you. As everyday should be.

Post Extras: Remind Me!     Notify Moderator

Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* Hi, feel so devastated, can somebody help me please... romeotc 04/02/13 02:16 AM
. * Re: Hi, feel so devastated, can somebody help me please... daybyday1912   04/22/13 03:28 PM
. * Re: Hi, feel so devastated, can somebody help me please... trulife   04/08/13 05:39 PM
. * Re: Hi, feel so devastated, can somebody help me please... iam1   04/06/13 01:33 PM
. * Re: Hi, feel so devastated, can somebody help me please... DJones   04/02/13 08:30 PM

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