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Reged: 02/28/13
Posts: 5
My Husband has HIV and never told me, now what?
      02/28/13 08:12 PM

I am hoping for some advice or thoughts, something.
I am a gay man and recently married my partner of 5 years. I could not have been happier. We just returned from our marriage/honeymoon and we have been trying to get back to day to day life.
Two days ago he recieved a letter from the health department asking him to call. I just knew what the letter was. So I asked him if he had anything to tell me etc. He said no. I asked him if he was HIV+ and he said "I don't know". I kept asking him and he finally said yes I am.

I also know that if this letter never came he would never have told me.

He has been HIV+ for about 8 years now and has never sought treatment at all and for all intensive purposes seems healthy.

I have now found out that some of his friends and family know about his status but they figured he told me.

He said he was afraid to tell me, then fell in love with me and it all seemed to "get away from him".

I immediately took a rapid HIV test, which came back negative.

I am now in a place where I feel lost. He is my heart. He has become everything to me. I have been trying to imagine my life without him and it seems impossible. I cannot imagine being in a world where we are not together and I am wondering how he is. If he is sad? If he is scared? If he is alone?

I also do not know how to move forward with him as he deceived me completely. He endangered my life. He took the choice out of my hands.

If I try to stay with him I am accepting the responsibilities that come along with his status. I know it sounds selfish but I have only had two days to even grasp this.

I also feel so sad for him, that this has happened to him and that he is now dealing with it or not dealing with it really.

He is pretty closed off so discussing this has been arduous at best. I have repeatedly watched our wedding video and just cry.

I just feel lost. I feel broken.

Does anyone have anything similiar they could share and how they moved forward?

thanks for listening

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Subject Posted by Posted on
* My Husband has HIV and never told me, now what? hurtingheart 02/28/13 08:12 PM
. * Re: My Husband has HIV and never told me, now what? Hopefulheart   12/26/13 10:27 PM
. * Re: My Husband has HIV and never told me, now what? MarkyH   05/03/13 09:00 AM
. * Re: My Husband has HIV and never told me, now what? Danigirl   03/01/13 05:28 AM
. * Re: My Husband has HIV and never told me, now what? hurtingheart   03/02/13 04:01 PM

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