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Family and Friends >> My Loved One Has HIV/AIDS

Madeleine
Newbie

Reged: 01/26/11
Posts: 2
Loc: Louisiana
My HIV+ boyfriend is afraid to be intimate...
      01/26/11 01:11 PM

I am with a man whom I love very very much. He is perfect. My ex-husband was abusive and controlling but my current boyfriend was always there for me as a friend and now we are finally able to be together. Because of all the "trauma" caused by my marriage I used to feel that my life was over even though I am only 25 but my boyfriend has made everything change.
Our problem is that he is HIV+ and he is so scared that he will infect me that he barely kisses me. We've both been through a lot and I think we both deserve to have a good relationship and although I could never help him half as much as he has helped me I want to make him happy.
He is on meds and very healthy but he is just so pessimistic about his future. Even my aunt, who tested + over 20 years ago and is in better health than me, can't make him see that he can live a normal life.
I feel so bad for him because I know how scared he is and that he feels guilty for something that isn't his fault. Before he found out that he was positive he infected the woman he was with before me and he blames himself a lot. He doesn't blame the woman who infected him, only himself. But he is an intelligent man and he knows that the two of us could have a safe sex life, but he is too afraid. I just don't know what to do or what to say or how to be patient.
Of course I appreciate that he is only trying to protect me but I went with him to the doctor and heard the doctor explain how we could be intimate and still safe so why is he scared when I am not?
Also, I feel like I am being selfish and that I might be putting pressure on him when I don't mean to, but we've been together for 18 months and I've known him since I was a kid so I am getting impatient. And I KNOW how wrong I am for that but that is how I feel.
There is no way I am giving up on him because he is everything to me, but I would like to be able to be close with him and I am certain that he would be happier if he wasn't so afraid.

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Subject Posted by Posted on
* My HIV+ boyfriend is afraid to be intimate... Madeleine 01/26/11 01:11 PM
. * Re: My HIV+ boyfriend is afraid to be intimate... jwaesm   03/10/11 04:49 PM
. * Re: My HIV+ boyfriend is afraid to be intimate... trulife   01/27/11 08:45 PM

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