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Reged: 12/23/10
Posts: 2
So concerned about my mom.
      12/23/10 10:33 PM

Hello Everyone,

I came across this site while looking for advice/information/coping/etc.

I feel that I need to talk with others and maybe GET and GIVE help/advice/an ear.

My mother has HIV. I found out "finally" in 2008. The reason I say finally is because I heard of her having it in 1993/1994 and when I confronted her she denied it. Ofcourse she would deny it because I approached her crying hysterically, who would admit to anything if someone came to them like that? I feel like such a fool.

In 2008 my sister told me she found some medication that said "for HIV patients". I confronted my mother but this time, as an adult. She did admit to having it and felt so relieved that it was now out in the open.
My mother suffers from depression. This stems from a bad upbringing (Abandonment, rape, etc…Too much to list)
She went into a deeper depressed state and even started using drugs once my brother, her only son, died a tragic death in 2004. She still suffers till this day, ofcourse, we all do!!
My mother used this phrase "I've been stabbed twice in my life". One being her diagnosis and second being my brother.
She said that she denied it before because she didn't want to hurt me or my siblings. How selfish of her to care for our feelings. I feel so bad that for all these years she had to hold it inside. My mother is a very very strong woman and doesn’t even know it. I’ve told her plenty a times and she doesn’t get it. ) She raised 3 girls and 1 boy (RIP) all by herself. She always kept a roof over our heads and food in our stomachs.

My mother tells me about her T-cells and Viral load. I am glad that she is being open with me but I know she is not being very truthful, which again I know it’s to avoid fear in my heart. I’ve been trying to go to her appointments but never tells me when or where. I just want to be on track with it. I just want to know! What I really cannot stand is the fact that the doctors just medicate people and not send them for help or guide them. They just get people addicted to medication. Which is the case for my mother. She is addicted to ALL THE DAMN pills they give her. I believe that there is a pill for “move you make” I cannot even begin to tell you.

My mothers health has been getting weaker. At the current time my mother has Sciatica and Arthritis. She has a pinched nerve which radiates down to one leg and now the arthritis is starting to bother her other let. She now walks with a limp, so sad. She continues to get MRI’s but nothing is being done. Just the other day she caught bronchitis. She was prescribed antibiotics BUT she states that she was sleepy while taking her medication and dosed off and spilled all her medicine on her bed. She has gotten it in the past but I feel that she isn’t taking good care of herself and is giving up.

Unlike some people (My sisters) I have a very soft spot for my mother. Because she is “MY MOTHER”!! She can do “no harm”, in my eyes. Yes I get upset with her, I am only human, but I forgive her right away. )
I feel like I should be doing more for her. I beat myself up all the time. I catch myself feeling down at times. I do not know what to do. My husband and I always talk about it and he reassures me that I am doing everything that I could as a daughter but I do not see it. On Thanksgiving we spoke with my mom and we told her to move in with us when she is ready but, I guess she isn’t ready to move so far away from her “No good” friends.

Sorry for this long post. I just wanted to post something and this came out. )

A concerned daughter......................

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Subject Posted by Posted on
* So concerned about my mom. JJ77 12/23/10 10:33 PM
. * Re: So concerned about my mom. JAC2011   12/29/10 05:47 PM
. * Re: So concerned about my mom. iam1   12/28/10 09:18 PM

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