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Billy_G
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Newbie
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Reged: 06/23/08
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Posts: 10
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Very confused and shocked, but still love him...
06/23/08 04:49 AM
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My lover and I have been together for over six years. I've worked away from home for the last three and just returned home permanently. He's been very ill for the last bit and has just admitted to me that he is Positive. He's known for the last two years but has not admitted it to me.. He was in hospital when I returned and basically is VERY ill at the moment. (CD4 below 30, lost most of his muscle mass and body weight etc)
I've struggled the last two weeks with mayor emotional issues. i've forgiven him for not telling me when he first found out, and I've forgiven him for not being truthfull to me about his condition. I love him dearly and would not want him to face this alone, but I'm also going trought some really tough emotional issues right now.
I've been to the last two Dr's meetings with him and my test is negative, btw. We've been trough hell the last couple of weeks and I have so many questions that I need to ask and have answered, but you have to keep a brave face in front of him. Our mutual friends are a great support but I need to be able to ask the tough questions of some impartial person.
Why am I writing this? Honestly, don't know. Just need to get some things of my chest and rant a little in a space where nobody knows me....
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