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Family and Friends >> My Loved One Has HIV/AIDS

Humbled
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Feeling like a terrible friend
      04/23/06 01:18 PM

I apologise in advance for this epic message...please respond if you can!

My friend was raped nearly 3 years ago and contracted HIV. She was so damaged by the rape that she lost all self confidence and would not report it, and now cannot find the will to keep on living. She is terrified that if she goes to a support centre, she'll see someone she knows and everyone will find out (only a few of us know right now). Her meds really don't suit her (she's tried different combinations) so she doesn't eat often and is basically wasting away. She's still completing her university degree, god knows how when she can barely stand up, and no one at her college knows, so can't help. Her mum found out and basically will not speak about it. Bloody hell, this is the time she needs you more than ever and you can't bring yourself to help her!

Anyway, that's all bad enough, but today she received an AIDS diagnosis. I have been waiting to cry about her situation for 3 years, and today I finally did. Somehow it all seemed at a distance before. She asked me whether to keep on her meds and start new ones to combat PCP. I find it really hard to answer. Of course, I don't want to lose my friend (and I will, very quickly, at this rate), but the only time she feels good is off her meds, and who am I to tell her to feel rubbish in order to stay alive when that life feels like death? I've tried never to tell her what to do, because I think it's really important not to project what I want onto her or to judge her, but now I'm wondering whether I am being a good enough friend by not being tougher. I get her resources on meds, helf groups, etc., but I can't make her act on them.

So, people, am I being spineless? Should I march her to the world specialist and handcuff her to a chair? Or should I let her deal with it herself and watch a 23-year old, incredibly talented girl just melt away before my eyes?

Lots of love to all of you dealing with these horrors.

Post Extras: Remind Me!     Notify Moderator

Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* Feeling like a terrible friend Humbled 04/23/06 01:18 PM
. * Re: Feeling like a terrible friend Eclipse   05/10/06 12:17 PM
. * Re: Feeling like a terrible friend peekiemomma   04/25/06 09:34 PM
. * Re: Feeling like a terrible friend Humbled   04/27/06 04:42 AM
. * Re: Feeling like a terrible friend still_here   04/30/06 09:34 AM
. * Re: Feeling like a terrible friend peekiemomma   04/28/06 10:03 PM
. * Re: Feeling like a terrible friend Bear60   04/25/06 01:18 PM
. * Re: Feeling like a terrible friend still_here   04/23/06 02:00 PM

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