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Family and Friends >> My Loved One Has HIV/AIDS

Anonymous
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At a crossroads with kids- please help
      12/21/05 07:27 AM

Hello all. I have three children with my ex husband who became hiv positive after we divorced. He told me in confidence and I got myself educated on the disease and are comfortable with it and support him as best as I can and he needs. We are really good friends. The problem is he is now dating someone and it is getting pretty serious. Our children are little and him and I have not discussed when or if we will ever tell the kids of his condition. He gets very upset whenever I try to talk to him about it. I leave it alone because I know how sad he is about having hiv. Well, anyways, the discussion came up and about him and his new girlfriend and them living together. I said you are going to tell her about your condition, right? He said no, I don't have to tell her anything, I am being safe and using condoms. Well, I said I am not going to let my children be a part of some hidden secret you are keeping from this woman. It got really bad from there. I just want to teach my children right from wrong and bring them up with good decisions. He thinks I am wrong that I am not going to let the kids go stay there every other weekend with her and him and he is going to keep this big secret. When I discussed with a lawyer they said the court would decide what is in the best interest of the children and the lawyer said it is not in the best interest of the children that their father is with another woman and not disclosing and also the health risks of if he passes it on to her and she does not know she has it and is not careful in the case of a blood accident, such as her monthly cycle etc. I am so distraught. He actually said he would give up his kids rather than tell her. I know deep inside he is afraid if he tells her she will leave him and where this is all coming from. I feel like I am being backed in a corner and I should give in and let him have the kids with her and keep this secret. But is seems wrong to me. Does anyone have any advice? It has been three years since his diagnosis and I thought he would come to terms with it by now, I certainly have. I would not be afraid to date someone with it as long I know about so I can protect myself in the relationship too! What can I do? He is really insane about it....

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Subject Posted by Posted on
* At a crossroads with kids- please help Anonymous 12/21/05 07:27 AM
. * Re: At a crossroads with kids- please help Anonymous   12/26/05 08:59 PM
. * Re: At a crossroads with kids- please help Jenni   12/25/05 03:46 PM
. * Re: At a crossroads with kids- please help franfrog   12/25/05 08:12 PM
. * Re: At a crossroads with kids- please help Anonymous   12/25/05 10:33 PM
. * Re: At a crossroads with kids- please help Jenni   12/26/05 10:11 PM
. * Re: At a crossroads with kids- please help bobtheHoosier   12/22/05 08:54 AM
. * Re: Looked at this list - HELP Anonymous   12/23/05 08:34 AM
. * Re: At a crossroads with kids- please help Anonymous   12/22/05 07:52 AM
. * Re: At a crossroads with kids- please help Anonymous   12/21/05 10:33 AM
. * Re: At a crossroads with kids- please help Anonymous   12/21/05 07:23 PM
. * Re: At a crossroads with kids- please help Anonymous   12/22/05 05:07 AM
. * Re: At a crossroads with kids- please help franfrog   12/21/05 09:17 PM
. * Re: At a crossroads with kids- please help Anonymous   12/22/05 07:46 AM
. * Post deleted by Becky AIDS2HIV   12/22/05 08:01 PM
. * Re: At a crossroads with kids- please help franfrog   12/23/05 08:41 AM
. * Post deleted by Becky AIDS2HIV   12/23/05 08:54 AM
. * Re: At a crossroads with kids- please help franfrog   12/23/05 12:51 PM
. * Re: At a crossroads with kids- please help franfrog   12/23/05 07:59 AM
. * Re: At a crossroads with kids- please help Anonymous   12/23/05 01:14 AM
. * Re: At a crossroads with kids- please help franfrog   12/22/05 11:01 AM

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