Angry and Venting in the South East - TheBody.com's Bulletin Boards

Last May my partner discovered that he was HIV positive. Initially we were just good friends that had met when I was shopping in his furniture store just 18 months ago. Our platonic relationship eventually grew into much more just 3 months before we learned of this HIV status after a routine physical examination. I had already fallen completely in love with him before this bomb shell dropped between us on May 5th. Initially many friends clamored around me insisting that I leave him, but I just could not bare that thought. I kept telling myself that I already loved him and that I did not just love him only if he was physically well, but that indeed I truly love this man.

We have since moved on with out lives. I purchased a home and we are in the process of filling up the rooms with stuff. Things seem to be going well, but I’m starting to find myself getting depressed or angry with this situation.

I’ve since learned from my partner’s ex-roommates and friends that basically there was a revolving door attached to his bedroom before we started to get serious. He treated his body as if it was an amusement park for most of this State’s Bear community. I’m just so angry that some guy is out there selfishly giving this disease out simply to satisfy his own needs. I’m just internalizing this poison that the man I love and cherish has compromised many aspects of our lives because he was this foolish with his own body. Now he finally found a man that will love him and support him emotionally and we are tragically dealing with the aftermath his poor choices.

He complains that condoms irritate his skin or that we can not be as intimate as he wishes we could be. I too wish we could be more intimate but he played the numbers game and we will forever have to deal with it. I know that eventually I could catch this disease even if we are as careful as we can be. I know I’m venting, but I’m just so damn angry inside at his promiscuity and freaking gay-bear subculture right now.
Grrrrrrrr

Post Extras: Remind Me!