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My Fiance died when I was 2000 miles away
      03/31/00 03:50 AM

My Fiance died when I was 2000 miles away

ŒTill I Fall Away If you are reading this, I want you to know
that it has been a very long time since I've been close to a
girl. Sure I have friends that are girls, but that is all they
are, no more, no less. I think that it is because I've been
afraid to open my heart up to someone again. It kills a part of
you everyday that your heart goes without the person you love so
much that you would be willing to die just to make sure they
live. The following is a factual account of the one thing that
changed my life forever. Some parts are explicit and hard to
believe, but I feel that they are necessary to explain that night
in its entirity. When I decided to write this, I told myself that
if I was to write this, then no part of it was to be a
fabrication.So I felt that I had to write it out in complete
chronological order. This isnıt Œbased on a true story,ı it is
the true story of love, hope, and tragedy. My hope is that you
will take this seriously in that I wrote this with the utmost
seriousness. Thank you. ³I need to get away from here,² I thought
to myself as I started to stroll away from my family. We had just
spent eighteen hours in the car with each other and we were all a
little edgy. I strode over to what people called the boardwalk,
though it looked like the Keystone Trail set along the beach. It
was a strange and foreign landscape for me, being from Nebraska
and looking out at water as far as I could see. The Virginia
coast seemed like the edge of the world to me. It was July 4,
1994. My family, my aunt and uncle (who live in Virginia Beach) ,
and practically the whole ³Tidewater² area had gathered on the
coast to watch the annual fireworks show. The whole scene
reminded me of the Royalıs game and the crowd on the 13th street
bridge, only much much bigger. The show was scheduled to start at
9:00 PM, but most of the crowd seemed to get there at 6:30­7:00,
including us! Part I ³Collision² 7:10 PM­­Boardwalk It was still
light out as I leaned against the rail on the edge of the
boardwalk where it met the sand. I was getting very hungry, so I
stood up straight, turned around, and had a soda spilled all over
my face and neck. She knocked me over and then tripped on my
shoes because she had to much momentum to stop cleanly in her
tracks. She fell right on top of me as we jolted heads. Startled,
I got up, helped her up, and wiped what tasted like Coca-Cola of
my face with my T-shirt. ³Are you Okay?² we both asked at the
same time. ³I think so, let me check...forget it, are you
alright?ıı ³My forehead stings a lit...Oh God! Your shirt. Are
you alright?² ³Iım fine, forget about it. You didnıt answer my
question.² ³Yeah, Iım okay. Iım so sorry that I knocked you over.
I saw a friend of mine that I hadnıt seen in a while, and I was
running to catch up to her. I wasnıt paying attention to anything
else when I stepped in your way. Iım so sorry, you wouldnıt
believe how embarrassed I am.² ³Please, forget it.² I laughed.
³Donıt get so hung up on it, this kind of thing happens. I have
to get my shirt dry, in the meantime, let me get you another
Coke.² Part II ³Words² 7:16 PM We walked over to a small ice
cream shop that looked a lot like Zestos to me. After I got both
of us a Coke, we sat down at an old table in front of the shop
and talked... Her full name was Lauren Anne Striker, she was a
native of Va. Beach. She then talked about some things that I
found pretty interesting. Her dad was dead, a casualty of Desert
Storm, and her mom was remarried. She had turned down modeling
offers four times from three different designers, one which was
very famous. It was from Italy, I canıt remember the name because
Iım not into fashion. At first I was skeptical, but then she
showed me the business cards, several were signed by the
designers! I asked her why she didnıt take the offer, and she
told me that she wanted to grow up like a normal person, that she
wasnıt into modeling. She liked vanilla ice cream, Coke, going to
the beach, soccer, body surfing, and running. She didnıt like
sports like volleyball, tennis or baseball because she said they
didnıt push you to your limit. I liked her intensely from the
minute I bought us the Coke. I told her that and she gave me the
smile every guy wants a girl to give him. We talked for an hour
or more sitting at that table! We talked about family, movies,
Nebraska, Virginia, religion, etc. She stopped suddenly and asked
me why I was staring at her the way I was. I said ³Because I
think Iım in love with you.² ³You really think so?² ³Yes, I do.²
She then blushed, there was an awkward pause for a few seconds,
and then she said ³Come on, letıs go for a walk.² I then stood up
and took her offered hand. Part III ³Passion² 8:40 PM secluded
spot of sand near the boardwalk We strolled on the boardwalk,
hand in hand, until I saw a spot and said ³Over there,² as I
pointed. That was when I first noticed what she was wearing: a
dark gray flannel shirt, short jean shorts, and a pair of ³Chuck
Taylor ŒAll Starsıı without socks. She had dancers legs, slim,
very feminine, and thoroughly tanned. She had a face so beautiful
it could rival any super-model, light brunette hair, bluish green
eyes like the sea after a storm, and a smile guaranteed to break
your heart. We sat down on the sand and I looked into her eyes, I
saw love. I hoped she could see the same in mine. An eerie alien
silence separated time from the kiss, which lasted a few moments,
but when the first kiss came, it rid the two of us of any doubt
we might have had about each other. ³God, how did I get this
girl,² I thought as I embraced the base of her neck with my lips.
She giggled a little because she said it tickled, so I went up
the base of her neck, in front of her ear, across her cheek, and
kissed her slowly. That was when she said ³I love you.² ³If I
could, I would propose to you right now because I love you more
than anything .² It was at that point that our existence went
from strangers to lovers. She smiled as I helped her unbutton her
gray/black flannel shirt and in a half-embrace I unfastened the
back of the swimsuit top that she was wearing. As I came out of
the kiss, my hand flowed downward, slowly very slowly, like a
sybaritic poem. I touched her breasts She had ample breasts for a
thirteen year old, I criticized myself for looking at her the way
I had, but Lauren made it hard not to. To my surprise they didnıt
feel like I expected. Itıs hard for me to explain what they felt
like because Iım writing this three years after it happened, but
from what I can remember, they felt good, and they were warm to
the touch. Suddenly the fireworks started, I retracted my hand
from her shirt and looked at my watch, 9:05. ³Nick, forget about
what time it is.² ³I just want every minute to be as precious as
it has been.² I slipped my left arm around the small of her back,
held her up against myself, and ran my hand through her hair. The
most passionate kiss took place right then, it lasted at least 12
minutes, during the latter of which I placed my hand on on one of
her shapely legs, pulling it closer, and taking charge. I pulled
my hand off her leg and started to unbutton her shorts. I undid
her zipper very slowly almost like unwrapping a gift. I slid my
hand down farther as my fingers entered her. I started to thrust
two of my fingers in and out of her slowly for a few moments. I
increased the rhythm of my arm and kept the same motion until she
started to contract on my fingers. I didnıt stop, I pulled her
close when she sighed almost painfully, and I held her in my one
free arm until the tremors subsided. I made her climax six more
times, always holding her after. I said ³Thank you, Lauren, for
being here, for spilling the Coke on me, and for letting me love
you. Let me tell you something, I will find you again, no matter
how long it takes, no matter how far I have to go. I will find
you, that is my vow to you.² ³Iıll be waiting, that is my
promise.² I kissed her again this time, but not the way I kissed
her before, there was something different about the way I kissed
her then. It was the way a groom kisses his new wife, short and
appropriate, but with more meaning than any other kiss the two
have ever had. Part IV ³Goodbye² 10:05 Boardwalk She took the two
tabs from the Coke cans, twisted them together in a way that is
hard to describe, and gave them to me. ³What are these for?² I
asked. ³They are a reminder of me Œtill we see each other again.²
³The more Iım with you, the more I love you.² We stood there,
staring in each othersı eyes, and never wanting to let the other
go. ³ Here, I want you to have this.² I took the crucifix off
from around my neck and put it in her hand. the fireworks had
just ended. I took her hand as she started to say goodbye, but I
cut her off before she got the first syllable out. ³Shhh.² I
commanded gently as I put a finger on her lips. I slid my arms
around her slim, attractive waist and we kissed long and slow. I
started to step backwards away from her, she was on the verge of
tears. I turned around walked about fifty feet until I couldnıt
take it. I turned around to see her face with a compassionate
smile, and a single tear running down her left cheek, just before
she was engulfed in the crowd of people briskly walking to their
cars. I started to head north on the boardwalk thinking that when
Nietzsche said ³Silence is the greatest passion,² he knew what he
was talking about. Epilogue: Judgment Day my house Monday April
29, 1996 late afternoon (telephone ringing) (telephone ringing)
³Hello?² ³Hello, can I speak with Nick?² ³Speaking, who is this?²
³Hey Nick, Itıs Uncle Kerry.² ³Hey, whatıs up?² ³Well... I got
some bad news for you. ³What, no one died did they?² (nervous
chuckle) [PAUSE] ³Who?² ³Nick, now please...² ³WHO, KERRY!?² ³Do
remember when you came over a few years ago. You told me about
that girl you met before the fireworks show. I saw the name in
the paper yesterday and it looked really familiar and then I
remembered. ³NO! No... how?!² ³Apparently AIDS, Iıll mail you the
article. Iım sorry Nick I really am. Listen, I have to go, Iım
running late. Say ŒHiı to your mom for me.² ³Yeah, all right
ŒBye² [click] [dial tone] I was beyond caring that I left the
phone off the hook as I ran outside, looked at the sky, and
cried. At God. At life. At death. At no one. A week later, I
received a tiny article in the mail about her death. She had died
of the pneumonia associated with AIDS. She acquired it through a
blood transfer when she was five. I was very scared, so I had a
good friend drive me down to St. Josephıs hospital. I tested
negative for HIV antibodies. the doctors said I couldnıt have had
it because antibodies wouldıve had to show up between now and
then if I had it. The newspaper article reported that her family
said she requested to be buried with my crucifix as soon as
doctors told her she had full-blown AIDS. Her family was puzzled
about this issue because they are technically agnostic. I was
pleased to know this because now I know a part of me will rest
with her forever.Lauren, youıll always have a special place in my
heart. I love you more than even these words can say. Lauren Anne
Striker May 27, 1981‹‹April 28,1996 All he wanted was to love her
for the rest of his life... to wake up every morning with her by
his side, knowing no matter what happened, he'd be able to come
home to her loving arms. All she wanted was to share everything
with him... to talk to him about her ideas, her dreams, the
little everyday things that made her laugh, and the not-so-little
things that she couldn't help worrying about. All he wanted was
to give her his love... as a place she could always come to for
acceptance, or the simple comfort that silence brings, when the
things left unsaid can still be understood. All she wanted was to
grow old with him... to watch their life unfold, their dreams,
one by one, come true. All they wanted was to love each other

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Subject Posted by Posted on
* My Fiance died when I was 2000 miles away Anonymous 03/31/00 03:50 AM
. * I think I'm gonna hurl! sounds like BS   04/09/06 11:27 PM
. * Re: My Fiance died when I was 2000 miles away happy1akaunhappy   07/16/04 08:45 PM

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