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Family and Friends >> My Loved One Has HIV/AIDS

Anonymous
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My life is a mess-lost my true love
      07/03/04 03:18 PM

Hello all,

I know you don't know me, my husband nor my family, but I am going to try as hard as possible to best describe them all. My father, mother and two brothers are wonderful people. Very loving close and caring. I am 34. At nineteen, met my current husband who I fell for deeply. But he put me through the ringer a bit. Dumped me, left me pregnant and alone, got involved with cocaine. Anyway, we got back together 10 years later when I thought he had grown up and got married. It took a lot for my family to forgive him and accept him into the family after some immature things he did to me. He is a good loving dad. I have an amazing chemistry with him. I had so much fun with him. But he still did the cocaine. Due to this, while I was pregnant with our second child, he went out and expiremented sexually with the same sex while on cocaine. He caught hiv and put me and the baby at risk. He did not know at this point, but we caught it due to the serious illness he got with in two weeks of infection. Luckily, I and the baby tested negative. However, I was so shocked, I mean this was so completely out of left field to me and on top of it, we had major problems communicating, I was ignorant about the disease etc. And he would not stop the drugs and I think my hormones due to the pregnancy were so out of whack. I left home and went to my parents for support and also told them he had hiv and put me at risk. They were so angry at him for putting our family in jeopardy, for cheating on me and doing drugs. THey will never forgive him, and when I tell you that they won't, I really mean it. So, fast forward 10 months, I have educated myself on the disease. I am no longer afraid of it as I was. I get along with him well. We see each other regurlay for the kids. I love him still so much. I miss him so much. I want to be with him again so much. But if I do, I will lose my family. They would never be friends with him again. And If I go and lose my family, if he keeps doing drugs, I would have no one to turn to. ANd I know he is still doing drugs. But you would like him even though he is immature and irresponsible. I am only 34 and sometimes don't feel like living, because I can not be with the one I love because of what has happened and I don't think I can stop loving him and love someone else. I feel so depressed that I don't know what to do. I am angry at myself for not keeping it a secret and handling it better and not leaving him. Now my family is destroyed and I know it is his fault mostly though. I am so sad. Don't know how to go on.

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Subject Posted by Posted on
* My life is a mess-lost my true love Anonymous 07/03/04 03:18 PM
. * Re: My life is a mess-lost my true love Anonymous   07/29/04 05:04 PM
. * Re: e-mail address Anonymous   07/31/04 12:50 PM
. * Re: My life is a mess-lost my true love Anonymous   07/22/04 06:40 PM
. * Re: My life is a mess-lost my true love Anonymous   07/25/04 11:57 AM
. * Re: My life is a mess-lost my true love Anonymous   07/26/04 05:16 PM
. * Re: My life is a mess-lost my true love Anonymous   07/11/04 12:00 PM
. * Re: My life is a mess-lost my true love Anonymous   07/13/04 09:11 AM
. * Re: My life is a mess-lost my true love Anonymous   07/14/04 12:32 PM
. * Re: My life is a mess-lost my true love Anonymous   07/04/04 02:22 PM
. * Re: My life is a mess-lost my true love Anonymous   07/05/04 11:44 AM
. * Re: My life is a mess-lost my true love Anonymous   07/05/04 12:16 PM
. * Re: My life is a mess-lost my true love Anonymous   07/05/04 03:08 PM
. * Re: My life is a mess-lost my true love Anonymous   07/06/04 11:57 AM
. * Re: My life is a mess-lost my true love Anonymous   07/06/04 05:39 PM
. * Re: My life is a mess-lost my true love Anonymous   07/09/04 12:14 AM
. * Re: My life is a mess-lost my true love Anonymous   07/13/04 01:08 PM
. * Re: My life is a mess-lost my true love Anonymous   07/14/04 10:09 PM

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