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Reged: 04/19/08
Posts: 4
Re: Observation (tell me if you disagree)...
      10/18/13 10:39 AM

I too have been through all this. After 8 operations on joints from avascular necrosis; a craniotomy for an aneurysm on a artery in my brain; multiple hospital visits including a couple where I nearly died again - I sometimes think about checking out.

I have also been diagnosed with depression and I have told my doctor (who is an absolute gem) that if euthanasia was available to me I probably would have used it. It is living with the day to day never ending pain. Pain that I cannot sleep with. pain that impedes all my movements. I also have COPD; and several other major illnesses as well. He understands the sheer frustration of trying to stay alive when I am so ill. I probably will never go back to work; but I volunteer now and again when I can. I have to have various home services in to help me; and yet social security says I do not need a carer. My best friend spends 20+ hours a week doing things I need done and I could not manage without him.

I have said to several people; including my doctor; that I maintain the right to self delivery any time I choose. I could also just stop all medication accept pain relief and I know my body will begin shutting down very quickly.

It is not mental illness. I know what your going through as I go through much the same - it is very hard work just staying alive; for what? I feel for all the pain you go through and hope you can get appropriate pain relief. After over a dozen major hospitalizations; including surgeries; I know the feeling of just wanting all the bloody hard work & pain to end.

I would however suggest getting out in the sun with some friends; or going out and doing things YOU like. I will help improve the mood I think. And ask close friends for help - if they're true friends they will help. I'd also suggest contacting any local organisations in your area that deal with depression and have a talk to them - they may be able to suggest something. And sometimes a damn good cry into your pillow will help get most of the frustration out.

And know you're not alone in all this. Best wishes & hugs.

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Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* Observation (tell me if you disagree)... southsam7 10/14/13 08:31 AM
. * Re: Observation (tell me if you disagree)... iam1   10/23/13 01:12 AM
. * Re: Observation (tell me if you disagree)... WayneD   10/18/13 10:39 AM
. * Re: Observation (tell me if you disagree)... anotherday   10/16/13 03:24 AM
. * Re: Observation (tell me if you disagree)... riverprincessModerator   10/14/13 11:37 PM
. * Re: Observation (tell me if you disagree)... lovableo   10/14/13 08:32 PM

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