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Reged: 03/10/13
Posts: 13
Anyone else being tortured mentally?
      08/31/13 09:20 PM

I was always a very active, out going, spontaneous, joking, witty person but all of that has been lost somewhere.

I have been on meds since November of 2005. First round Sustiva and Epzicom which caused mental illness. Probably Sustiva so I switched to Reyetaz, Norvir, Truvada. 4 years into that regimen I started having mental problems again.

I am not "depressed" or "sad". I am being tortured mentally. That's the only way I can describe it. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING is a chore. I don't want to shave, take a shower, stop for gas, shop for groceries. I get zero pleasure even when I force myself to exercise. I cannot even enjoy a sip of wine or a beer as I get ZERO pleasure any more. I can't focus or concentrate and I don't want to be around other people.

Off the meds completely I'm a totally different person. However I have gone through an occasional "high" even on the meds but it rarely lasts more than a month before I crash very hard again into this torturous mental state. Antidepressants are ineffective in the long haul. I have tried Effexor, Trazadone, Wellbutrin, Seroquel, Neurontin, Remeron to name a few... I even had a week long stint in the psychiatric ward. I also have insomnia while on meds.

I stopped taking ALL HIV meds about four weeks ago and within a few days I was finally enjoying my life again. Then last week the Dr. switched me to Isentress/Epzicom which are noted for tolerability. Five days into that treatment I was back to being mentally tortured again. I missed 2 days of work. Now I have been off those meds for about 36 hours and I'm feeling better again already. I managed to shave, clean the house and do laundry. All of which were impossible for me to do while on the meds.

We are doing numerous blood/urine tests and I'm going for an MRI of the brain. My doctor said it's time to get aggressive to figure this whole mess out! I am from a very small town where we do not have a Neurological HIV specialist. I may have to travel to a bigger city if my local doctors cannot find out what's wrong with me.

It's been more than a year long battle and I know in my heart of hearts that it's NOT a "psychological" problem. It's definitely physiological. For some reason my body stopped being able to metabolize medicines like it's supposed to. Even on the anti depressants I had the most bizarre side effects.

I am desperate to find out what's wrong and to hear from anyone else who is having a similar experience.

Good luck to you all!

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Subject Posted by Posted on
* Anyone else being tortured mentally? bscottmatt 08/31/13 09:20 PM
. * Re: Anyone else being tortured mentally? riverprincessModerator   09/01/13 01:51 PM
. * Re: Anyone else being tortured mentally? bscottmatt   09/02/13 07:19 PM

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