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Reged: 10/25/10
Posts: 1131
Loc: GA, USA
About the five stages
      07/31/12 01:16 PM

Riverprinces and bird.

You both have taken what was said way out of context. At least from my view point on the issue. When anyone be it someone first diagnosised with HIV or what have you is experiencing the initial shock of the news it is not helpful to tell them stages.

Here is why. Their world is turned upside down. They have lost all sense of normality. There is a desprete need to feel normal. Giving a person in this state a list of stages means that they are not normal till they have reached those stages. Which couldn't be further from the truth. This is a no no in the mental health field for a reason.

A person can experience all the stages of grief (which your five stages sort of resemble) or one or two stages of it or any combination of them. Telling a person that there are stages makes them shoot for the final stage (or a stage they feel is appropriate) as what normal is and can cause them to not deal with what they need to deal with cause they were to concerned with reaching that normal point.

This can cause major mental health issues later in life. Especially when they come to realize that because they rushed to get to a stage they didn't deal with the feelings from a previous stage. This they feel like they have failed to be normal.

Any good therapist will tell you any part of the grieving process is normal and that the whole process is fluid and can go back and forth. They will also tell you that any person at any time can experience all of the stages or certain ones.

It is our responsibility as individuals living with this to encourage and help those who are recently diagnoses feel normal right off the bat. No matter what stage they are in. I suggested that you reword it as something that you personally experienced as part of your acceptance process because that is your normal not everybody else's.

If you can not understand that the stages you listed are personal to you and not what everyone else has to go through to be normal. As well if you see this as an attack then I would suggest talking to a therapist about it and see what they say. Cause there is no attack, I am asking you to realize and be mature enough to know everyone is different and experiences life different and posting something that is worded so ridgid as to say all people go through this is really unproductive and counterintuitive to what your goal originally was.

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Subject Posted by Posted on
* About the five stages kicker 07/31/12 01:16 PM
. * Re: About the five stages riverprincessModerator   08/01/12 03:06 PM
. * Re: About the five stages kicker   08/01/12 04:37 PM
. * Re: About the five stages riverprincessModerator   08/11/12 07:26 PM

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