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Reged: 06/18/09
Posts: 303
Loc: Georgia
Re: newbie needs a friend
      10/29/10 01:41 AM

Look at it this way - if you think you still need that disguise to go to the doctor this is the perfect time of the year to buy it without getting more strange looks.

I'm going to poke fun at you. For this I apologize. Sort of. I try to remember back when I first found out I was HIV+. I think it was back when I had a dinosaur for a pet. I've been HIV+ for more than 20 years, and let me tell you that you will never completely get through the initial fright/shock. It does lessen over time, but some mornings you'll wake up feeling good and suddenly remember - you're mortal! You are going to die!

Like was previously said - educate! Part of what scares people so much about this disease is the lack of knowledge. If people ever bothered to get off their big asses and check out this website for a half hour a week they would get some smarts. They'd learn about this disease, and suddenly it wouldn't seem so scary.

I'm sorry your mother, the nurse, is having issues with this disease. But, she's only human (also sorry to be the one to have to tell you that). She needs to educate herself the same as everybody else. But, some people are so determined that they KNOW everything they'll ever need to know, so they don't bother learning more. Chances are that beneath that somewhat gruff exterior of your mother she's probably frightened that you're going to die. (Did noone ever tell mothers that the only guarantee in life is death?) Give her time to adjust. It may take months. It may take years. The same with your grandmother. When you go to the doctor (in disguise) pick up some pamplets about HIV. They have them for people who are HIV+. They also have them for people who know others who are HIV+. For family and caregivers. Leave them where either your mother and/or grandmother can see them to read. Perhaps taping them to the front door isn't the best option.

What are we going to do with you and your therapist? I'd suggest coming to terms with the fact that you have a disease. Not a death sentance. Only a disease. One that is treatable with many different medications. Stand in front of the mirror, look at yourself, and say "I have HIV!" (I'd suggest doing this in private. You'll get strange looks from others whenever you talk to yourself.) When you can do that and still face yourself without crying you will have passed one hurdle.

Keep up to date about where the support group meets. I think one day (hopefully soon) you will be going.

And, CONGRATS on taking your meds! Don't miss doses. HIV meds are not like aspirin that you only take when you feel bad. If they are difficult to take because of the time when you need to take them or food restrictions/requirements talk with your doctor. He may be able to change your meds to a regimine that is easier on your scheduale. Or, the meds you're on may be what is best for you, and you'll just have to learn to live with what you've got. It does get easier.

As for your partner - would it be possible for the two of you to go to your therapist together? Not everytime, but for one or two (or three hundred and seventyeight) sessions. Discussions are normally two way talks. If your not talking with him I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that he's not talking with you, either. It's going to fester in each of you until it explodes and you have a knockdown, dragout bitch fight. And, not just one, but a huge one initially followed by several aftershocks.

What can you do to feel human again? Give birth to that alien growing in your stomach Sigorney! Seriously, the best thing you can do is to live. Try to go about what would be your normal day-to-day activities. If need be create some normal day-to-day activities. Get up in the morning. Have a cup of coffee. Go to work. Come home from work. Fix dinner. Clean the house/apartment. Watch bad television. Go to bed. Yes, I forsee you becoming yet another cog in the wheel of life. Not that you'll have a life to speak of, but you'll be just like everyone else.

Post Extras: Remind Me!     Notify Moderator

Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* newbie needs a friend anonymousgrrl3 10/25/10 04:25 PM
. * Re: newbie needs a friend alive2   11/01/10 05:30 AM
. * Re: newbie needs a friend iam1   10/29/10 01:41 AM
. * Re: newbie needs a friend anonymousgrrl3   10/29/10 01:52 AM
. * Re: newbie needs a friend DJones   10/28/10 08:32 PM
. * Re: newbie needs a friend bartlebyAdministrator   10/25/10 06:15 PM
. * Re: newbie needs a friend anonymousgrrl3   10/25/10 06:29 PM
. * Re: newbie needs a friend bartlebyAdministrator   10/25/10 06:59 PM

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