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HIV Life >> Living With HIV

nibbler
Newbie

Reged: 08/17/10
Posts: 6
A truly vicious circle.
      08/23/10 05:46 PM

Well, it seems to me that my good deed(s) has gone unappreciated, as usual. My best friend of 5 years was diagnosed two weeks ago. Upon him being diagnosed I dropped everything and became his support system. I remembered what it was like when I was diagnosed and had NO ONE and didn't want anyone, especially someone I care about to go threw the same thing.

By burying myself in his most recent drama (along with so much more that isn't relateable here) it helped me finally accept my own diagnoses from five years ago. But now, I have been kicked to the curb and am no longer needed. He has turned to other friends who have no experience in this disease. He has turned to friends who turned their backs on him because they had other more important things to tend to at the time, but now have a moment. I wonder if it's just the way society has become or if it is only the select few that I have been ignorant enough to allow into my life? Is a good deed really so excusable that people don't take a second look at it?

Sigh...I am now beginning to understand why so many in our community have become so bitter, angry, distrusting and shut in. I see so little in humanity that makes me want to be accessible to the outside. Being a good person, or at least trying to be a good person, just isn't worth it any more. My attempt to save someone from a hurt that I experienced has only led to another type of pain that I wouldn't wish upon someone else. A truly vicious circle.

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Subject Posted by Posted on
* A truly vicious circle. nibbler 08/23/10 05:46 PM
. * Re: A truly vicious circle. meandu   08/26/10 08:15 PM
. * Re: A truly vicious circle. iam1   08/26/10 06:39 PM

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