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HIV Life >> Living With HIV

elios
Newbie

Reged: 02/02/08
Posts: 2
waiting for my results
      02/02/08 01:29 PM

I am in great distress and can't talk to anybody that is why I am writing here and the panic gave me the strength. I thought that maybe here I will find a place where I can take this out of my chest, find some info and relief all this pain.
I am a 43 yrs physician-scientist well know in my univ. hospital as well as internationally. Remarkable career, beautiful family and a 20yrs top relationship with my wife. 10yrs ago when we had the only crisis and she left me, I got very drunk and I went with a prostitute. Idiot. That is the only time I had a risky behavior in my life. After few months the crisis was solved and I removed that blurry night and I never get tested. Even more idiot!
I am waiting for my results to come back but in the meantime I am freaking out 100% and the reason is that even if I know that there is always a hope and a chance of been negative before the test come back, I am 80% convinced that I will be +ve. There are many mild symptoms I have which fits well if putted together.
What is gone be my life, my devoted career and all the rest? I can’t go to the HIV expert in my hospital because he knows me well and it will be a big issue (he is not a close friend and sometime we compete in science) going up to top, I will loose all my reputation with colleagues and patients. A disaster. I was wondering if there is somebody that knows of any group of physicians HIV+ where one can shear fears and experience.

I am sure that here there is an understanding for my feelings

Thanx.


Post Extras: Remind Me!     Notify Moderator

Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* waiting for my results elios 02/02/08 01:29 PM
. * Re: waiting for my results whocanfigure   02/04/08 10:26 PM
. * Re: waiting for my results whocanfigure   02/02/08 09:36 PM
. * Re: waiting for my results elios   02/03/08 10:46 AM
. * Re: waiting for my results Choosing2Liv   02/06/08 10:31 AM
. * Re: waiting for my results oldwoman   02/04/08 03:52 PM
. * Re: waiting for my results shex   02/02/08 01:54 PM

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