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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

Anonymous
Unregistered

lesbian
      03/30/00 10:06 PM

i've managed to make it downstairs to the computer lab in my
dormitory. i have known about my sexuality for four years. i have
had many partners; partners whom i have loved and honored. but,
when does it hit an uninformed and misguided lesbian that she
might be risking her life? it happened to me after i made love to
a woman i had met at a club. something so pure and natural can
literally be the death of you. it's not fair. i don't even know
if i am positive, and i can't seem to find the courage to be
tested or even to mend by careless ways... how many women
contract hiv from other women? how do i protect myself in an
efficient manner? i read some of your poems and testimonies and i
cried harder than i have in years. i want everyone to remain
strong, and wish the same for me as well. the look of an eye and
the movement of a body pulled me from my solitude and brought me
to you. a woman. a dazzling woman on the dance floor with looks
and style and grace. oh she was wonderful. the thoughts and
feelings in her mind merged with mine and i screamed as she
touched me in a way that i have never experienced. so who says it
was wrong. my raging hormones overtook any rational thought, and
i was in love with the idea of crying out your name. but cuts and
bruises and your sweet-smelling juices could be the death of me.
the death of me... since when were those four words ever spoken
together? never. but, now they race through my mind every time i
think of her. when does the reality of hiv reach a lesbian?




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