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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?


      03/30/00 09:57 PM

Well, this is Carrie & throughout the two weeks of waiting and
being scared(which soon after doing some studying)I learned a lot
about HIV/AIDS,and in a way, I wish everybody could go through
what it is like to possably be testing posative for HIV cause it
would make these people that are so stuck on the fact that they
won't get it or their partners don't have it to WaKe Up!!! It
might also help people realize that they need to practice safe
sex and don't share needles. Back to my experience. I have
learned a lot of things. I already knew that being posative is
NOT the end of it all, it is just a change in living.(I found
that Pos. or not, I was going to be okay) Everything is different
when you think you are HIV pos. You think I am young, I will not
be able to have children. I want to have children. I could get
married to someone posative, but what if I leave them early or
they leave me?? What if I go to college but I get really sick. I
don't want to leave because I have HIV or AIDS. All of these
questions were on my mind, but now they are laid to rest in a
shallow grave in the back of my mind. I tested negative. I have
lost what I believed to be a friend over those two weeks and
gained two friends my age. My so-called-friend thought that I was
posative since I was so scared and I was having health problems
(that are now VERY clearly NOT symptoms of HIV) but a nerve
disorder which I thought I conquered two years ago. Anyway, she
got scared of me, said she woulden't say anything to anybody and
now she doesn't call, come over, or anything. I don't care now. I
met some people with HIV at the Health Department and we got to
talking. A guy and his girlfriend. They continue to date, work,
go to school. They were diagnosed the summer of 95 when the guy
who I will call Joe contracted it from the girl who we will call
Jan.(that is waht they say, but they really don't know who got it
from who). But anyway, they both accepted it. They would like to
have kids but Know the outcome if they did. So instead, I bring
my 2 year old cousin over for Jan & I to babysit.(My cousin is
the closest I will probably come to having kids anyhow). We all
have a good time together and since they both moved here from
Indiana and have been abandoned by most of their family, they are
spending Christmas and New Years with my true friends and I. I
don't see any outside signs that they are posative but I do
understand some of the things they go through on the inside. They
are teaching me, and I am learning from them. Anyway, I am now a
volunteer at the Health Department as someone for people to talk
to while they are waiting for the results. I really want to get a
support group formed for people with HIV & AIDS. Jan & Joe are
too because our town has one, but it is too big and it is mainly
older people. Both older and younger people have a lot of
different issues to deal with and what counts for some of the
older people may not for the young. Plus, I believe that the
younger people accept it a lot better now than the older. They
are like,"Well, we are dying anyway, what are we doing at this
support group"?? Atleast, that is their attitude. I know that
there is a lot more than dying. Your just like anyone else except
you might have a few more things to deal with. The life of a
person living with HIV or AIDS is getting longer with less
setbacks of illnesses or other health problems. Well, I will keep
in touch, and thank all of you who set my mind at ease and have
not ridiculed me for my feelings on the wait. It has changed me
forever. If you would like to talk about going and getting tested
(cause I herad all kinds of stories before I went), or you want
to talk about the wait or being tested posative OR negative,
e.mail me at Maybe I can help. Take care of
yourself, Carrie

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* Waiting Carrie 03/30/00 09:57 PM
. * Re: Waiting verrucktpj   10/26/07 10:12 PM

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