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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

bios23
Expert

Reged: 04/27/08
Posts: 110
Re: besides obvious mental issue lol,can i go wooh
      04/29/08 09:21 PM

Hey Lily!!
thanks for your words of reassurance. The fact is that every reaction I get makes me put reason over fear and makes me feel a bit better, and they DO change my days for better. At least I stopped having panic attacks and feeling so 'alone' in this, and I think I owe this to you guys.
I do agree with you on that one should find a reliable website and stick to it! In retrospective reading so much about symptoms, windows periods, risk associated with the different activities and even a bunch of doubtful veracity websites that doubt on the effectiveness of condoms to stop stds made me go NUTS.
I think the best is just stop reading about symptoms whatsoever (I know it's a hard task to do hehe) but it truly makes your days better. That way your body is not aware of what symptom to give you in order to panic yourself out and make your life hell hehe
If I'm tested negative at the 3 month test I promised myself I would become a regular in this website and try to share from the experiences I've learned in order to help future people that are panicking and encourage them to get tested, and one of the advice I was thinking is this one you tell me right now. I think I would be having less fear right now if I would have done this since the very beginning. Like right now I'm having a tremendous gastritis thanks to stress and constant worry.

Another advice I think would be to speak it out and share it with other people (like in this website). To talk about it to someone, what do you think about that? I do think my fear before and after letting my experience out was reduced drastically. Its like you get a weight off you.
And about that, yes, I'm suspecting I'm feeling guilty about bi experience even though I try to pretend I'm not. Fact is that it is not considered 'normal' here (stupid 3rd world) and my parents are soooo homophobic you wouldn't believe. I really think mom would rather see me dead than gay, and I'm not kidding on that one. So even though I consider myself more 'open minded' , that influence of the surroundings is paying its bill on making me feel like baaaaaaaad.
And by the way, thanks for your thoughts on experimenting. I know in other countries it might not be as 'wow' but you can't believe the distress it comes to lie to everyone about it. I sometimes wish that i wouldn't have done that (given the amount of anxiety it has brought to me!! ) but on the other hand I sometimes think its great that I did it, since it was necessary to know myself, and also that if I did it, that at least I wore protection and limited myself to those acts. It could had been way worst.

Anyways, thanks for your kind words Lily
A big hug and lots and lots of good energy towards you ^_^



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Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* besides obvious mental issue lol,can i go woohoo? bios23 04/27/08 02:35 AM
. * Re: besides obvious mental issue lol,can i go woohoo? shadesofgrey   04/27/08 08:01 PM
. * Re: besides obvious mental issue lol,can i go wooh Robertguy   04/27/08 09:55 AM
. * Re: besides obvious mental issue lol,can i go wooh bios23   04/28/08 05:04 PM
. * Re: besides obvious mental issue lol,can i go wooh Robertguy   04/29/08 02:55 PM
. * Re: besides obvious mental issue lol,can i go woohoo? ravi   04/27/08 05:31 AM
. * Re: besides obvious mental issue lol,can i go wooh bios23   04/28/08 04:47 PM
. * Re: besides obvious mental issue lol,can i go wooh lily   04/28/08 05:03 PM
. * Re: besides obvious mental issue lol,can i go wooh bios23   04/29/08 09:21 PM
. * Re: besides obvious mental issue lol,can i go wooh lily   05/05/08 05:02 AM
. * Re: besides obvious mental issue lol,can i go wooh bios23   05/08/08 06:10 PM
. * Re: besides obvious mental issue lol,can i go wooh lily   05/18/08 11:02 AM
. * shades, rob, ravi, lilly, ffo, and everyone readin bios23   06/25/08 02:19 AM

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