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Re: sex with massage worker
04/04/00 09:10 PM
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Brian,
I understand your worries only too well (see my Nov. post as to why). You should gain some comfort out of the fact that you were in a situation that is regarded as being low risk (unlike me) and you did not report any of the common "primary" symptoms (I have had swollen lymph nodes in my neck for over 4 weeks now). All you can do now is wait until it is time to do the test and until then - hope and pray. Since I have found this site, I have included the people that post here in my prayers and - although I am not an overly religious person - that has calmed me down when I got a panic attack.
As to telling your loved one, I know that is a hard decision to make and I have (still am) driving myself crazy over that. Every person is different and it is difficult to predict how the partner will react. For myself, I have decided against it so that my little family can spend one last christmas together without this burden of me likely being hiv infected. So far, I have successfully avoided sex and I am EXTREMELY cautious when I play or cuddle with my kids. My wife is scared of infectious deseases as well and, combined with the truth as to how I got it, will probably leave me as a result. So, I might as well wait until I have proof of what I highly suspect in the form of a test result. My time is up early next month.
I keep my fingers crossed and pray for you and all of us who fear they might have hiv.
Michael
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