Re: dead man, dead man walking - TheBody.com's Bulletin Boards

To the original poster, what you are feeling is guilt, as you know, but you have to let go of that. I was not sure from y our post whether or not your wife knows that you were unfaithful, but if she does, know that she is still with you, and loves you. If she doesn't know, perhaps being h onest will help you to begin to forgive yourself. I am in the same boat (except i'm female) and I do know that forgiving yourself is the hardest part. But, I think what concerned me most about your post is that you feel the more you suffer the more God will forgive you...that isn't true. God forgives you the minute you commit a wrong. He is a loving and forgiving God and does NOT want you to suffer. He has already forgiven you...and now you must do the same. I am working on that...but, I have chosen not to tell my husband at this time, because I know that he would leave me, so I'm waiting for the results of my test, and if, by the Grace of God it is negative, I'm going to forgive myself, and move forward, being the best wife and mother that I can be. And, you should do the same sweetie. You NEED to do the same. We are human...and humans are imperfect. We all make mistakes...some bigger than others, some equally as big, but in different ways. You are not a bad person. Good people make bad decisions! I'm a good person. I am loving, kind, compassionate, forgiving...I just f'd up because I also happened to be horny (lol) I'm not trying to make light of it. Because it is serious....not something I want to ever do again...and I have learned from it....learned how much my husband means to me. And, I think you have too. I think you know how important she is to y ou, and you can move on, keeping that lesson close to your heart. you will be a better husband...a better man because of it. It's kinda like a rain storm...they are bad, sometimes they cause destruction and sadness, but after them you get a bright sunny day with a beautiful rainbow. This does not have to be an end for you, but a beginning. I will pray that God grants you peace and the strength to forgive yourself.

The guilt is what is going to kill you...NOT HIV. I would bet my life that isn't an issue....so, once you get a negative test just forget it and focus on forgiveness. It can come. (and don't be so quick to shun counseling. It can be an invaluable tool.)

Post Extras: Remind Me!