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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

Anonymous
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Re: dead man, dead man walking
      10/05/05 06:13 PM

I felt just the way you did, and I sometimes wonder if I will again if I receive a pos result, I am in the exact same position you are in. In fact I cheated on my wife in August only after we had been married for three months, so I feel your pain on the guilt. I am just like you, maybe even worse. I can take every situation and find any negative available and run with it. The first couple of days I thought my body was going through ARS I was so bad I think I could have been committed, especially when you have no one to talk to. I was screaming at God to let her be ok, and crying to my mother(she passed a few years ago) asking how this could be. I was fortunate enough to see a good doctor who realized how much of my pain was associated to guilt, fear, panic, and anxiety and he made sure to treat that problem first. Since then I have reached my 6 week mark and everything looks good. My 4 week test came back negative, and a 22 day PCR shows no trace. I now have faith that I am not infected and that I am going to be ok, and trust me I have had every symptom. The point to why I am telling you all of this is that you have to relax and have faith that you will be ok. Untill the blood work shows different, symptoms mean nothing. Also that I am in your shoes as well and that as me a lot of the symptoms you my be having are due to stress, anxiety, guilt, etc.. You should also due some research on the disease, because even though your chances of being infected are slim to none, it is nice to know that it is not really this dreaded death sentence that it used to be, they have come a long way. Take this as a sign to open your eyes to see the beautiful life that you have. While your eyes are open, understand how truley blessed most of us really are in life, and all the things, even the small ones you can do to make it better for yourself and everyone around you. Learn to appreciate all that you have and never take any of it for granted. Finally now that you have an idea of how frustrating this can be, have a special appreciation, as I have learned to have, for those you are living with this. You will be fine, but take care of yourself and of course do not do anything rash. It will work out for us, just have faith and patience.

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Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* dead man, dead man walking Anonymous 10/05/05 05:13 PM
. * Re: dead man, dead man walking Anonymous   10/05/05 06:13 PM
. * Re: dead man, dead man walking Anonymous   10/06/05 03:00 PM
. * Re: dead man, dead man walking Anonymous   10/06/05 07:09 PM
. * Re: dead man, dead man walking daisey6205   10/11/05 10:52 PM
. * hyper analyzing Anonymous   10/06/05 06:19 PM
. * Re: hyper analyzing Anonymous   10/06/05 06:48 PM
. * Re: dead man, dead man walking Anonymous   10/05/05 07:34 PM
. * Re: dead man, dead man walking Anonymous   10/05/05 08:20 PM
. * Re: dead man, dead man walking Anonymous   10/06/05 09:10 AM
. * Re: dead man, dead man walking Anonymous   10/06/05 06:11 PM
. * Re: dead man, dead man walking Anonymous   10/06/05 07:04 PM
. * Re: dead man, dead man walking Anonymous   10/06/05 07:00 PM
. * Re: dead man, dead man walking Anonymous   10/05/05 07:28 PM

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