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HIV Life >> Gay Men

mathguy
Newbie

Reged: 06/01/13
Posts: 3
Re: Dumped because I am Pos
      06/04/13 05:13 PM

Hey!!

Right -- this totally sucks; as some background, I'm a negative guy. But you might start to feel better with the following.

Ends of relationships hurt a lot. No matter the reason, they're usually gonna hurt. Have you tried to disentangle your feelings about the relationship's end with the apparent reason he gave you that it ended? As a lot of positive guys write on this site, HIV is just a virus; it doesn't define you –– your goodness or worth as a person is __NOT__ given by your status. Like it doesn't say anything about it. You're worthwhile because of your values, your dynamism, etc.; negative guys aren't intrinsically virtuous because they're negative!!

Supposing that you've started to disentangle your feelings about the relationship's end – and I concede the following is difficult – but is Mr. Perfect actually the perfect guy if he can't "get past" your status? I mean, seriously, there's so much fvcking literature out there, showing that the risks of transmission among serodiscordant couples who practice safe sex (condoms for anal) is insanely low, and still remains low for couples for whom the positive guy bottoms and don't use condoms. Moreover, really important to note is that we take all sorts of other risks all the time –– lots of gay guys hook up on Grindr with guys whose statuses are unknown, some drive home tipsy really late at night, some ski down dangerous slopes or bike in heavy traffic. All of this has risk. Recognize he (and you!!) must, perhaps, is that if we demand consistency in intention over all our actions, then anyone who takes other risks, even "normal" risks by most standards, then a serodiscordant relationship is hardly noteworthy.

I say that you deserve a guy who can recognize this –– your awesomeness is not diminished by HIV (it's totally irrelevant). Again, this situation sucks -– dating between negative and positive guys is difficult (I know by experience) –– but you'll get over it with time, and find a guy who can "see past" your status.

Edited by mathguy (06/04/13 05:13 PM)

Post Extras: Remind Me!     Notify Moderator

Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* Dumped because I am Pos usctrojan 05/17/13 02:53 AM
. * Re: Dumped because I am Pos iam1   10/31/13 05:44 PM
. * Re: Dumped because I am Pos riverprincessModerator   11/01/13 06:53 PM
. * Re: Dumped because I am Pos *DELETED* hivgays   06/18/13 11:09 PM
. * Re: Dumped because I am Pos mathguy   06/04/13 05:13 PM
. * Re: Dumped because I am Pos Ferguson1959   05/29/13 07:55 PM
. * Re: Dumped because I am Pos Ryan81   05/29/13 07:47 PM
. * Re: Dumped because I am Pos leathercublon   05/29/13 06:00 PM
. * Re: Dumped because I am Pos Daddy_Bearby   05/30/13 09:21 PM
. * Re: Dumped because I am Pos bartlebyAdministrator   05/17/13 02:20 PM
. * Re: Dumped because I am Pos usctrojan   05/18/13 03:04 AM
. * Re: Dumped because I am Pos thebird1959   05/18/13 09:19 PM
. * Re: Dumped because I am Pos Daddy_Bearby   05/30/13 09:32 PM

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