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HIV Life >> Gay Men


Reged: 06/18/09
Posts: 322
Loc: Georgia
Re: Negative guy with questions about sex
      03/29/13 09:08 PM

It is NEVER a bad thing to care for yourself! This especially includes trying to prevent disease before it happens rather than treating after exposure.

Before I answer your question about having sex let me say that for years I've worked for a facility that tests for HIV. We have NEVER sent results to anybody through email. I don't know what the procedure is for the place you got tested, but no matter what the result is we require they be here in person to find out. If negative we want to discuss safer sex habits. If positive we want to let them know we're here to answer questions and to get them started into care.

You're like so many others with whom I've discussed safer sex. Scared to death and going to be abstinate for the rest of their lives. That doesn't even make for a good pulp novel. Truth is you're human. You will go through phases when you want sex and times when you don't. It's normal. Often outside activities (such as being scared at a test for HIV) will influence these feelings one way or another. Don't try to write off the entire human race in an instant. Realize that you are going to have sex and you need to assume responsibility for your actions and try to have sex safely.

The person you have sex with also needs to be responsible. It makes sex a much more enjoyable activity if both parties are working with the same goal in mind.

Condom use. No, condoms are not 100% effective at preventing HIV. Nothing except abstinance will be. But, properly used a condom can be your best buddy. Each good condom is well over 99% effective at what it does. And, that tiny part of 1% does NOT add up. It is stil very strongly recommended that you DO use a condom. It is SO much more effective than using nothing.

Condoms break. A cheap brand of condom will break more easily than a better quality brand. If you're having very active sex you should check regularly to ensure the condom is still in one piece. There's nothing wrong with replacing a condom in the middle of sex.

Another thing you need to be sure is that you're using a condom compatible lubricant. One that's NOT oil based. Silicon based lubes are great but more expensive. Water based lubes can be good, but often require additional mositure or more lube. Hand/body lotions or vaseline are almost always oil or petroleum based lubes. Great for moisturize dry skin or keeping things from sticking. Terrible for condoms. The oil in these lubes will eat the condom and leave nothing except small shreds.

You do have an alternative. With the recent allowment of home HIV testing you could test each of your sex partners for HIV before having sex with them. The test is only 20 minutes. This would slow down but not stop sex (providing the partner is HIV-). You would probably also need to perform the test on yourself each time. Just to let the other person know you weren't being two faced about wanting an HIV- partner. The only drawback I see with this solution is the cost. Each HIV test runs nearly $50. Not chump change.

What can I tell you?

Enjoy life! If you don't enjoy living why do it? Have sex. Have sex responsibly. Know that you can use a condom for penetratvie sex. Know that there is much sex beyond penetrative sex. Maybe you can ask at the clinic where they did the test if they know of any sex classes where you can discuss and possibly learn new things that can be done safely.

Never take anyone's word for whether or not they have HIV. The only way you can know for certain is if they get tested in front of you. Always practice safer sex. Besides HIV there are dozens of other STD's that can be slowed or prevented.

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Subject Posted by Posted on
* Negative guy with questions about sex curious_guy 03/12/13 04:27 PM
. * Re: Negative guy with questions about sex thebird1959   05/05/13 02:31 AM
. * Re: Negative guy with questions about sex iam1   03/29/13 09:08 PM

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