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gregg629
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Guardian
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Reged: 04/16/01
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Posts: 438
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Loc: Boston
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Re: HIV, guilt and death
01/07/02 11:07 AM
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Hey there...
Well a few things that come to mind when I read your letter. First you are very sweet and your BF is lucky to have someone that cares as much as you do. But I have to ask. If you don't know your status, why do you assume that you were the one that infected him? While the two of you have been together, have you been seeing other guys, have you engaged in risky behavior that would lead you to believe that you might be positive?
HIV usually untreated takes 10 years to develop into Full Blown AIDS. It's very possible that this guy has been HIV positive for quite a while and never knew or never was tested. In the time you two have been together, have either of you been tested? Do you know what his sexual past was before meeting you? Or while he was with you?
There are just a lot of things in what you wrote that just don't add up.
Don't beat yourself up or guilt yourself for something that quite possibly you had nothing to do with.
I would first start by taking a deep breath then go get tested and find out your situation. From the sounds of what you wrote I wouldn't be surprised tho if this guy infected you.
Regardless of who was first. You need to take care of you and the only way you can do that is to find out if you have HIV or not.
Write back and let us all know how things go.
HUG
Gregg
gregg629@aol.com
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