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HIV Life >> Gay Men

New User

Reged: 05/15/11
Posts: 2
Loc: Colorado, USA
What Now?
      05/15/11 05:43 PM

Just diagnosed three and a half weeks ago and I am not quite sure how to move forward. I am feeling well at the moment and have a CD4 count near 500 so my ID doc wants to wait a bit before starting treatment. My issue is how this illness is consuming my life. I am having trouble sleeping, concentrating at work, and am avoiding any social interaction - all of which is not healthy, I know. My partner and I were diagnosed at the same time and his health is not quite as strong as mine. He is receiving immediate care and has no energy at all. My entire existence seems to revolve around seeing to his needs and worrying about his levels and general health, all to my detriment. Basically, this whole new life of ours sucks. I can't believe I am living it, actually. How I got here enters my mind constantly and I am so disappointed in myself and embarrassed beyond belief. (to say nothing of being scared out of my mind). I have told one friend who has been incrediby supportive but also admonished me to not be too selfish when thinking about my condition as it affects millions of people and I need to positively focus on getting and keeping well. I know he is right but at this moment all I want to do is cry. I just want to feel like myself again when HIV didn't consume every waking thought. I have read the great advice from people on this site suggesting support groups and therapy and I know I should investigate it but for know it is easier to wallow in my self pity. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

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Subject Posted by Posted on
* What Now? Zach 05/15/11 05:43 PM
. * Re: What Now? patsy   09/12/11 04:28 AM
. * Re: What Now? njpozdad   05/27/11 12:06 PM
. * Re: What Now? Swingatronic56   05/24/11 10:10 PM
. * Re: What Now? Zach   06/04/11 01:22 AM
. * Re: What Now? hivpoznc   05/16/11 07:43 AM

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