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August69
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Reged: 03/22/08
Posts: 79
Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!!
      07/03/09 02:12 PM

I guess I could be considered the other side of the story. I am the one in my relationship that does not want to have sex with my partner. I have been with him for 17 years (open right from the start at his insistance). He became infected about 5 years ago when he was addicted to meth and was not in a frame of mind to care about himself or anyone else. This was also the time frame where I stopped having sex with him. I became infected 2 years ago by a mutual friend who has since killed himself.

I love him with all my heart, just cannot bring myself to have sex with him. I must admit that when I first became poz, and for a good year and a half , I did not want to have sex with anyone. I really felt sick. I have since started meds, and feel much better. I now have a better sex drive, and frequently go online.

There are numberous reasons why someone does not feel comfortable having sex with someone they care about. The big one is that they do not want to infect (or reinfect) their partner.
I have found thou that if the affection tapers off, that is not a good sign. That is generally a sign that they are looking elsewhere.

He could be having a difficult time with his hiv and is not feeling well.

He could be having a lot of stress at work, or stress just coping with the hiv.

He may not want to burden you with years of treatment, cost associated with the disease, etc.

I think you need to have a difficult discussion with him as soon as possible. Find out where he is heading in the relationship. It could be that he is planning something romantic for you. Really hard to say without knowing his personality.

When my partner found out he was positive, he almost left me without telling me. He did not want to burden me with his problems. I told him that leaving was not an option and we would face this together. I do love him and care about him.


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Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! *DELETED* celloy 07/01/09 10:16 AM
. * Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! jcruz898   09/02/09 02:49 PM
. * Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! DS86   08/02/09 08:56 AM
. * Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! allen42   08/01/09 07:51 PM
. * Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! allangering   07/09/09 05:53 AM
. * Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! August69   07/03/09 02:12 PM
. * Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! Dare2Love   07/02/09 05:43 AM
. * Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! gwridens   07/01/09 05:38 PM
. * Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! celloy   07/01/09 08:45 PM
. * Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! FLOWERMAN   07/28/09 09:19 AM
. * Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! gwridens   07/01/09 10:45 PM

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