Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!!

Hi Gause,

I have read your story and it felt as if I am reading my very own story! Not only are the facts (to the date) so closely related to my story, but everything you said is what I have experienced over the last year with my partner

I have not found a man whom I have loved more deeply and cared for more than my current partner. He is a wonderful companion, friend and lover. We are also compassionate – hugging and kissing. Nothing better than to feel my man’s warm body close to me at night, Hear his breathing, his touch and experience his care. I am also not trying not to put pressure on him, but I am in desperate need of sexual intimacy with my man, not just sex!

I can find sex anywhere and anytime, but I am committed to MY man and want to be with NOBODY, but only my man. I suppose I have old world values and ways of looking at things and may be naïf in many ways, but I value monogamy and would rather split, than have an open relationship! I could never deal with an open relationship – would just kill me!

My partner previously (prior to meeting me) had “fuck buddies” and he says that it has worked for him because he could decide when he wanted to have sex or not – meaning he had sex and a sex drive. He is very defensive if I want to talk about our situation. We had wonderful sex at the start of our relationship, but have very little sex and this makes me feel as if I am competing against “on-line” daddies and porn stars and could possibly never fulfil his fantasies! He has assured me that it is only on-line and not real people. When does fantasy become reality? Where is the line? How do you tell? He tells me that he does not have sex drive at the moment, but he is still watching porn on his own and masturbating. Is this healthy and right? Is there such a thing a right or wrong? I do not want to let him go and fully understand the implication of our relationship – HIV and AIDS - and I am comofrtable with our relationship!

I know, more than anything else, that I really truly love him with all my heart! I want to trust him! I want to be next to him and care for him as he cares for me! We are a great team!

I am lost… I do not know what to do! I truly love him and want to be with him, but do you honestly think his behaviour, like your own partner’s behaviour, is rational and will we ever be able to understand it? Could we possibly understand - fi so how? How do we deal with ithis?

What do I do to keep a positive outlook in my relationship and ensure that I do not push my man away?

Please share your thoughts and ideas!

Regards

--------------------
Need some help and guidance please...

Post Extras: Remind Me!