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HIV Life >> Gay Men

gwridens
Newbie

Reged: 06/25/09
Posts: 8
Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!!
      07/01/09 05:38 PM

It sounds to me as if your issue is more than just a "ready for sex" issue. While it is not uncommon for recently diagnosed people to want to abstain from intercourse, it sounds to me like he may be using his HIV status as an excuse to avoid that kind of contact with you. I'm not a professional counselor, but his actions (based solely on what you've said) seems to suggest the obvious. I was diagnosed in March of 2008 and to this day my partner and I have yet to have intercourse. This is for the same reason your boyfriend is professing. I'm not ready to take it to that level yet out of a petrifying fear of infecting my partner. It's not a rational or even realistic (if protection is used) fear, but it is still there. You can't understand the fear, so don't try. Only someone who is in our exact situations can relate. You are doing the right thing by being patient and waiting. If his fear of infecting you is truly the reason he is abstaining with you, then it is something only he can deal with and it cannot be rushed. It would be horrendously unfair of you to try.
That being said, I've found that "gut feelings" are there for a reason. If you have a feeling he is being unfaithful, then you should address that in whatever way you see fit. If you believe (or find out) that his issue truly is that he is afraid of infecting you, you should be patient and give however much time he needs. Be thankful that he is thinking of you (obviously someone didn't give him the same consideration). If you can't wait, let him go. He has one of the worst diseases known to man and he will need someone that can deal with everything that comes with it, both physical and emotional.

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Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! *DELETED* celloy 07/01/09 10:16 AM
. * Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! jcruz898   09/02/09 02:49 PM
. * Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! DS86   08/02/09 08:56 AM
. * Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! allen42   08/01/09 07:51 PM
. * Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! allangering   07/09/09 05:53 AM
. * Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! August69   07/03/09 02:12 PM
. * Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! Dare2Love   07/02/09 05:43 AM
. * Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! gwridens   07/01/09 05:38 PM
. * Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! celloy   07/01/09 08:45 PM
. * Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! FLOWERMAN   07/28/09 09:19 AM
. * Re: HIV - with HIV + boyfriend....PLEASE HELP!!! gwridens   07/01/09 10:45 PM

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