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23, alone, and feel utterly hopeless in Las Vegas!
04/12/09 06:38 AM
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I was recently diagnosed on January 12, 2009. The irony of it all...It was Chinese new year, my year. I am an Ox, according to this ancient calendar and I had it in my mind that this was my year to shine. Then I found out I was HIV+. When I found out it felt as though someone had punched me in my stomach and all my dreams punched out. I am 23 a college student and dealing with this alone.
I have told a couple friends and yet it seems that for the most part I am unable to tell them my problems since they cannot understand. I go to group meetings but sometimes I am unable to relate to them since they have been soldiers in this war against HIV and I am only beginning to understand my role in all of this. I fear I am not strong enough. My mother always said to me, "God pressures you but he never suffocates." I feel pretty suffocated right now.
I hate dealing with this alone!
If there are any HIV+ friends in Las Vegas or even around the country I would love to chat. Just to have a buddy I can write on occasion on my thoughts, my dreams, my demons.
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