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Reged: 12/12/07
Posts: 10
Loc: Minnesota
Re: Made an awful mistake...
      01/08/09 09:32 PM

First off - yes "technically a mistake was made" but no real damage was done physically. So please don't beat yourself up so over this.

Secondly - it is in MY opinion to be upfront about your status - and if a dating/hook-up site (let's REALLY be honest here as to the intentions!) provides the ability to specify your HIV status, BE HONEST.

For a lot of men, the HIV status is ultimately a deal-breaker REGARDLESS of WHEN you disclose, so why waste each others' time if that's going to be a significant issue...

I have been with guys who didn't disclose until AFTER we'd had sex. The activities we engaged in weren't activities that I feel were a risk to me so I was never concerned about becoming infected. However it always left me feeling just a little bit mistrusting of the guy that he knowingly didn't disclose. The integrity issue is very important for a lasting longterm relationship.

That said, given the current hysteria that exists in the male to male sexual community and the hostility and fear and misinformation that exists, it's understandable how DIIFFICULT it is to make a disclosure and dealing with the rejection thereof.

That is something you'll have to work through. And it is better to disclose from moment 0 your status and get that out of the way. If the guy is gonna be weird about your status, better he does it BEFORE there is ANY emotional investment on either of your parts.

My 2 cents...


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Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* Made an awful mistake... livesinadream 11/26/08 08:17 PM
. * Re: Made an awful mistake... RayNGrant   01/08/09 09:32 PM
. * Re: Made an awful mistake... livesinadream   11/28/08 03:17 PM
. * Re: Made an awful mistake... Btony   12/01/08 12:39 PM
. * Re: Made an awful mistake... Btony   11/28/08 01:49 PM
. * Re: Made an awful mistake... Jackie__Blue   11/26/08 09:56 PM

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