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HIV Life >> Gay Men

newstyle
Newbie

Reged: 12/28/07
Posts: 5
help with disclosing
      12/28/07 09:53 AM

I know the answer to my question's probably been answered too often but still I need a push to help me disclose.

I got diagnosed app 2 years ago with acute HIV syndrome so I was offered and started meds right away.
I haven't been in a relationship since then and got my life organized in a way I didn't need one (work and gym and occasional party here and then). I choosed not to disclose it to anyone unless I'd somehow know it was going to be serious (I don't live in a big city and the stigma associated with it is definitely bigger than average here), of course using protection and all.

Then I met this guy, he started to work at the same place. Flirted for like 3 months (yup a long time) and finally got together and are almost inseperable since then (about 5 weeks now). It has been quite stresfull to take pills at the same hour every day but somehow I managed (I got pretty good at hiding this after 2 years). After 3 weeks it was the first time we would actually not be sleeping together and not seeing e/o for 3 days so I could finally think clearly about everything.

At that point it was obvious he was not just a one night stand so I decided I'd disclose my status to him but decided to wait until the whole new year euforia wears out.

The obvious fear is rejection and having had had sex already will probably evoke some trust issues and as I read here I lost my optimal time of disclosing already. But I am sure all this wouldn't have happened if I did. Why? He's educated (in medical field as well), very good looking but naturally scared of diseases in general. Has a lot of friends (girls mostly that would not approve if he confessed) and we've been going out a lot together this month.
I was asked about 4 times if I got tested so I just lied I didn't and that he should be careful with me.
So I was asked to get tested together and I said yes, but that I needed to know what would happen if the resoult turned out to be bad. His answer was that we would just talk about that after that.

Not the answer I was hoping for, but I can't go on with this without telling him. And since he's the first guy I've fallen in love with after I don't know how many years I probably won't just leave.

How should I prepare myself for possible rejection?

How to do any possible damage control after not telling him right away (what will go through his head)?

And of course how should I tell?

Post Extras: Remind Me!     Notify Moderator

Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* help with disclosing newstyle 12/28/07 09:53 AM
. * Re: help with disclosing pozartistsd   01/06/08 05:27 PM
. * Re: help with disclosing newstyle   01/08/08 02:44 AM
. * Re: help with disclosing pozartistsd   01/10/08 01:40 PM
. * Re: help with disclosing newstyle   01/13/08 12:54 PM
. * Re: help with disclosing Leonardo   01/08/08 06:09 AM
. * Re: help with disclosing drnsee   12/29/07 01:35 AM
. * Re: help with disclosing newstyle   12/29/07 09:26 AM
. * Re: help with disclosing Leonardo   12/29/07 09:38 AM
. * Re: help with disclosing newstyle   12/29/07 10:16 AM
. * Re: help with disclosing drnsee   12/29/07 03:16 PM
. * Re: help with disclosing Leonardo   12/28/07 11:15 PM
. * Re: help with disclosing wdhjlr   12/28/07 01:31 PM

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