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HIV Life >> Gay Men


      11/26/04 04:41 PM

I was diagnoised with AIDS exactly two years ago. No, that's not a mistype, the Doctor came into my hospital room and just said that I had AIDS! This was the first that anyone had ever suggested to me that I was ill. I had always felt well and had not suffered any symptoms that I would associate with HIV. (When I now read and look back on my life I did have symptoms, but they were easily explained as the result of other illnesses) The reason that my diagnosis was that of AIDS and not HIV was that my numbers were in the range of a person with AIDS (my numbers were a CD4 count of 30, and a viral load in excess of 200,000, Well below and above the ranges)

I have a good doctor in terms of treatment, the best in town! But he is not a resource for information either medical or emotional. I can't find any support groups that meet my needs and a private therapist that I have been seeing for the past two years doesn't seem to ease my fears!

I want to know what my life expectancy is!!! The doctor said that I had probably had the HIV virus for 15 to 20+ years prior to diagnosis. Everything that I read states that people are now surviving up to twenty years with the disease, but if the doctor is right I may be going on 22+ years. Am I close to death? Do I stop working and spend my lifesavings on living? Do I leave my partner of 18 years (HIV-) and explore my last experience's on this planet?

I have told no one of my status except those in the medical field that need to know, that inclues my partner! We have always practiced safe sex and I am sure that he is not infected by me. How do we deal with the uncertainty?

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Subject Posted by Posted on
* Uncertainty Anonymous 11/26/04 04:41 PM
. * Re: Uncertainty DavidSolomon   02/22/06 02:03 AM
. * Re: Uncertainty Anonymous   06/27/05 03:35 PM
. * Re: Uncertainty Anonymous   12/15/04 12:45 AM
. * Re: Uncertainty Brian M   12/09/04 05:23 AM
. * Re: Uncertainty padude647   12/02/04 08:27 AM
. * Re: Uncertainty Long Time   12/01/04 06:53 AM
. * Re: Uncertainty Anonymous   11/28/04 02:37 AM
. * Re: Uncertainty Foster   11/26/04 10:40 PM

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