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HIV Life >> African Americans


Reged: 10/25/10
Posts: 1131
Loc: GA, USA
Re: is poz for homosexuals?
      06/02/11 08:29 PM

I worked as a residential manager in a mental health facility a few years ago. (Loved the job, unfortunately they went under it was privately owned.) Please forgive the vagueness as well, but confidentiality and all.

This place was pretty much half way between a permanent psych ward and being out on your own. The clients there went either to a long term facility or they got better and went out on their own (sort of). It was set up like a highrise for the elderly, where there was someone on 24/7 but the clients had their own apartments and we for the most part free to come and go as they pleased. There was of course a curfew and they had to check out and in, their medications were handled by staff, etc.

Anyway there was a client, we will call this client PAT. Pat, refused to accept responsibility for the current situation that they found themselves in. Pat was an alcoholic and avid drug user, and had a mental health background that would make most people shutter. (Not the worst I ever seen, but close). Anyway Pat had an ankle bracelet that prevented any treks further than 500 feet from the building or risk going straight to jail.

Pat would wake up daily and almost like clockwork would come into my office and demand that I let them go. Pat would rant and rave at how Pat had been wrongly accused, how Pat never did anything wrong, that Pat's drinking wasn't an issue, that Pat's mental health was perfect even better than mine. Pat would try to enlist the help of anyone who passed by the place to help as well. Everyone in the facility that was a client would have at least one complaint a week as to how Pat did something or another. Pat would also blame Pat's kids, the person she had been dating, and the police officer that had stopped Pat from jumping off a bridge in one of Pat's drug/alcohol binges. I always went in on my days an hour early so I could give Pat an hour of my time to blow off steam and move on with the day.

Every day I sat there and patiently waited till that days rant was over. And every day I told Pat if they didn't like the situation there was simple steps they could follow to make things better. One of which is to accept responsibility if not in whole in part. That no one made Pat drink or do drugs. Also I reminded Pat that the current situation was better than the alternative.

Anyway, Pat finally was able to go for an over night visit with a relative. Pat side stepped the relative and went out to a bar close to the relatives house. Pat then decided to go home with a person that was met at the bar. They got into an accident that left Pat in a wheel chair. Pat was again brought back to the facility and this time Pat was even angrier than before. Blaming everyone else including the doctor who gave Pat the home visit and the relative.

I watched as this person continued to spiral down hill and eventually was forced to go to a long term facility under 24/7 lock down, because they refused to accept responsibility and turn their life around. Pat had wasted away in the wheel chair, going from roughly 180 to 110 in a matter of 6 months. No one bothered visiting with Pat because Pat hated everyone. No one wanted to be around Pat. And Pat blamed everyone else.

Had Pat accepted responsibility and admitted to themselves that it was their fault for what had happened, Pat could have very easily been a productive member of society. Pat was still fairly young, intelligent person, that could have had a lot to offer. But NO ONE wanted to listen to what Pat had to say in groups or privately, because Pat had come across as an angry bitter person.

I was surprised at what Pat taught me though. That not accepting responsibility has its own set of consequences. How it can lead in a downward spiral, how hate and fear can corrupt even the best intentions.

Just thought I'd share that story. I found it to be an excellent life lesson that thankfully I didn't have to learn the hard way. I wish I could give you every detail as it would be much more thought provoking, but the general jest is there. I'm sure you can probably provide your own examples as well. Just some food for thought.

I know it won't change how you feel or make anything better for you, but maybe it will help put a light on something in what comes across as a dark hour for you.

Post Extras: Remind Me!     Notify Moderator

Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* is poz for homosexuals? howard 06/01/11 06:56 PM
. * Re: is poz for homosexuals? bartlebyAdministrator   06/02/11 06:51 PM
. * Re: is poz for homosexuals? getbuns   10/13/11 05:49 AM
. * Re: is poz for homosexuals? kicker   06/02/11 08:29 PM
. * thank you howard   06/04/11 09:32 PM
. * Re: thank you getbuns   10/13/11 05:55 AM
. * Re: is poz for homosexuals? hivpoznc   06/02/11 04:35 PM

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