Well, I've been positive for nearly 5 years now. My dearest friend tested positive just this past Friday. It made me realize that this whole time, I had never actually dealt with the fact that I was positive and has brought it all back up to the surface.
For the first six months, I was tested, got my labs, even took the pills. But after the initial six months, I blocked it out. I knew I had it, but I never discussed it, stopped getting my labs done and stopped any type of romantic involvement just so I wouldn't have to bring it back up.
Today I made the call. While trying to help my friend deal with his diagnosis I have found doctors, information and even called my old doctor for my lab history...which is scaring the hell out of me by the way. I know nothing about the numbers. What they mean, if all the little things wrong with me are a direct result and/or if they will go away if I start taking meds. But I took the first step today...I'm going to start dealing with this bitch, and I'm not going down without a fight.
I realize this isn't an answer as to how to cope with HIV/AIDS...but my hope is that it may help someone else make the decision to at least start trying.
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It only took 5 years...
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