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inadaze
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Reged: 07/09/10
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Posts: 2
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coping til neg. boyfriend needs other women
07/10/10 01:46 AM
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tested pos 10 wks ago. My boyfriend is negative and was/is....? very supportive and caring. I had this dilusion that we were staying away ffrom sex for now until we can deal better with the whole concept. We were always condom users but without HIV looming over us there was no problem. We had a great relationship that was never very sexual to begin with but had an intense closeness. Today i dropped by his apartment and he was in the process of having sex with another woman. I can't put into words the deep sinking pit of loneliness and betrayal i feel. I am attempting to understand but the reality is that although he says he's sorry and that he loves me and plans to marry me, he will never touch me sexually. do i live with that because i am positive? Before my diagnosis i could walk into a room and own any man i want. Now i feel like without him i will be alone for the rest of my life. The pain i feel is too great to even imagine another day of it let alone the rest of my life. On one hand the anguish that i am feeling could take it's toll on my health but on the other hand will being alone be worse. Does he expect me to never have sex again? I just don't know how to move forward from here. He doesnt want me to leave him but how do i stay? I don't know how to stay......
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