I will start out by saying that I write this post with a heavy heart and a lot of aggrevation. So, please take no offense to my post.
I have been reading on thebody and other websites posts, forums, etc to better understand HIV/AIDS. I am doing so because I dearly love and care for my HIV+ boyfriend. He was diagnosed about three years, is now undetectable and him and I have been dating for about a year. I do research because I want to understand what he has experienced in the past, what he's going through now and what he and I (as a couple) will endure in the future. I dont want to be ignorant when it comes to anything that affects him, especially something so serious as his health and well-being. This is what love does, especially unconditional love. Unconditional love is something a lot of us speak about but rarely offer.
So here goes! I am SO tired of people sending in posts asking what they should do about the person they are in love with due to the fact that they are HIV+. I want to say that anyone who has tested positive for HIV/AIDS is a person, no different than those of us who are fortunate enough to not have contracted HIV/AIDS. Most people who are positive have not done anything differently than those of us who are negative. The difference is, they were infected and we (up to this point) have not been. How many people can say they haven't had unprotected sex, not to mention the other ways in which you can become infected. I have not been nearly as promiscious as a lot of women and I personally can think of a few people that I have had unprotected sex with that could have very well been infected and I would have had no idea.
Like I said, I wrote this with a lot on my mind and I want so badly to express my feelings but find it hard to. I know friends and family may not agree with your wanting to love and care for someone that they see as less than perfect. I know a lot of negative people that scare me and deter me more than any positive person. If you're here for advice on whether you should stay or not then you need to really take a look at your heart and decide if you should say you love someone and then question whether you want to be with them. Maybe I'm crazy but when I found out about my boyfriend, I didn't think of myself much at all, instead I educated myself. It hurt my heart that he had done the same things as so many others and had been infected. I saw and heard all the things he said and did and realized that all he wanted was to be loved and accepted, just like everyone else does. Why does he not deserve that? Because he is HIV+? That's crap! He's still a person like all of us who has a heart, feelings, emotions and a desire to be happy and share his life with someone. Some people may say that because I have children from a previous marriage that I'm not thinking of them or myself. Call me selfish but the way I see it is that I am teaching my kids a valuable lesson. My kids are not aware of his illness and when they are old enough to understand, they will know. They will see that I had loved, cared for and supported a man that a lot of ignorant people would see as unloveable, off-limits, less than perfect, etc. More than that, I have finally experienced what unconditional love is and I know now that love conquers all. I do know that my being with him does pose a threat. I also see how well he is doing and because I've done research I also know that I wouldn't want to have to suffer with it but I also know that it's not a death sentence. Being 31 years old, I know that if were infected that with meds and I can live 20+ years. That's better than the odds that I have with hereditary risks. So, why not spend my life with the one I love, happily.....opposed to being in a horrible marriage wishing I had spent my life with the one I love......or worse, dying alone without the one I love all because of fear.
As I mentioned in the beginning, I hope no one takes offense to this post. If so, then that should answer your question whether to stay with them or not. In my boyfriends case, there's enough stress over his illness and being rejected. Don't make anyone experience the rejection they have feared. Do them a favor! Move on and spare them anymore pain. As for me, I love him...all of him and he is perfect in my eyes. I hope that at least one person will benefit from this and listen to their heart over their head, society, etc and love them with everything you have.
To my love SK......thank you for coming into my life and offering me the love that you have. You have opened my eyes and my heart to so many things. I know you're a "bad man" but always know that should the time ever come, thank you for trusting me to always be there to hold your hand and see you through the tough times.........I am ALWAYS here! You are the love of my life!