Getting on with it!! - TheBody.com's Bulletin Boards

Hey Guys,

I`m a 32 year old gay male.. out to my family and friends for the past 10 yrs!
Just when everything was going great in my life , career wise etc, and i feel like i`m in my prime i did a routine test only to find out that i`m H.I.V positive!! it`s very recent, diagnosed on 20th March.

i took a few risks... i know... STUPID!! but i never saw this coming!! now i`m paying for it. confided in 2 very close friends but can`t tell my family `cos of stigma attached also if i`m going to live for another 20 or 30 years i hope, i don`t see the point in putting them though the pain , worry and sress too!!

This site has helped so much, reading stories of people`s amazing courage and strength. At the moment it`s all very new, i`m taking it day by day, some ok and some very bad... full of pain , despair, regret, and fear for future!!

At work i put a smile on my face and get on with it , eventhough, ther`s so much pain going on inside!!
I see that people live with Hiv for many, many years... it`s reassuring. I know that in the future medication and a good lifestyle are important... i smoke and drink, but still go to gym 3 or 4 times a week. But my question is, if i`m going to live with this for many years to come... does the pain and anguish get easier to live with!!

I believe in destiny and that there is a reason for everything, but can`t find the reason for this... maybe in the future i`ll meet another positive guy and share lots of nice holidays , meals out, cosy nights in ,,, etc..
But at the moment it`s very tough, i really admire all you guys who have been living with this an have such a positive attitude to it all!!

Best Of To all You,

Sorry it`s very longwinded but need to communicate with people who really,really understand!! Thanks for your time,

Dreamer76

Post Extras: Remind Me!