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Rejection's tough...
01/02/09 06:10 PM
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Hey guys. New to this site today, and have been really impressed - it's great. I've been on meds for 6 years, diagnosed for 7 (after catching HIV from precum from oral sex, having never swallowed and never had anal sex), and have generally been really optimistic due to great family and friends. But at the moment I'm feeling totally gutted. I came out of a relationship about 6 months ago, and since then have not been able to successfully run the dating gauntlet. Guys seem to appreciate me telling them my status before sleeping with them, but then either freeze completely, or do it once and, having reflected, cannot do it again. It could be that I am a total trog (!), but they, up to the point of disclosure, have often said I am 'gorgeous, handsome, amazing kisser' etc., and have openly admitted that they are simply having trouble getting their head round the diagnosis. These guys are all in their late 20s and early 30s and have said they know no-one else with HIV. Possibly I am telling them too early, but I am really scared of doing anything with them involving sex before I have disclosed, then having them worry about whether they caught it (despite always being safe) and being cross with me for not telling them earlier. How do you guys handle it? I know the ideal would be to get to know each other for several weeks, make an emotional bond, then deal with the disclosure before getting physical, but is that really workable in the gay dating world? I'd love to think it is, so please tell me some good examples of when that has worked for you!
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