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Made an awful mistake...
11/26/08 03:17 PM
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I have done something very awful which I earnestly hate myself for.
I've went on a few dates with charming man and thus far we had a very nice time. I did not disclose my status however on the site we met on I did leave the answer blank. (Technicality who cares right?) Last night we went out, had a few too many drinks and we ended up masterbating eachother off to orgasam. We came on my chest so there was no penetratation or fluids exchanged. Today as I woke up I immediatly was so angry and hated myself I didn't know what to do. I feel like the worst person alive. When I was told I was poz I swore that I would always be up front as I could about my status and that I would never take away the choice someone had taken from me. Yesterday I broke that promise. I'm completely disgusted wth myself. I know what I have to do now is tell him my status, tell how sorry I am and how awful my choice was and hope he doesn't kick my butt. I like this guy but I realize that I've probably messed up any chance I could have ever hoped for. I know that the risk was fairly low but that is neither here nor there. I just don't know how I could have ever done this or how I can contuine to live with myself herein. An awful feeling today... I wish I could take back my stupidity and weakness.
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