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HIV Life >> Gay Men

livesinadream
Regular

Reged: 06/29/06
Posts: 33
Loc: minnesota
hanging on...
      11/16/08 12:52 PM

Well I've been poz nearly 3 years now... Seems like only yesterday that I came on here about a week after being told to find the support and help I needed. I can't say how wonderful it has been to have this place. I haven't been back here in awhile, but I think I need some support again.

About a year after my diagnoses I met another pos guy that I started a relationship. I'm sure many of you understand the emotional depth of your first poz-poz relationship. This guy taught me so much about how to be stronger, be ok with who I am, not feel shame.... so many wonderful lessons. Unfortuantly we ended things about 7 months ago as he moved away. These 7 mons have been awful and I'm terribly lonely. I miss my lover and my best friend in so many aspects. With him I could 100% be myself and open about being positive. In my otherwise life I haven't told anoyone about my status for fear.. fear of people changing their perception of me from a stong man to a weak, sick, dying person which is of course not true at all. I just want to be treated as I always have and dont want any perceptions to change with others...

My dilemna is that I'm so bloody lonely. In the midwest here there is such an awful stigma against positive men and there are no youth support groups (I have been to a few different groups but I never really felt like I fit in) So I spend my time hoping to meet a guy on gay.com or manhunt or poz.com.. how stupid I know but at least in these venues I can list my status as ask me or blank. Its my way of putting my foot in the door of the second comming out so to speak. I just really wish I could have someone to help me through this rocky road of life. I'm tired of sitting at home on the weekends. I'm not a big bar fan and enjoy activities with some depth like museums or concerts or what have you. I guess what all my rantings are ravings are about boils down to I'm lonely, sad and wishing I had a partner in crime to help me navigate this rocky road. Someone to lean on when times get tough because I'm tired of always leaning on myself. I'm sure many others are in a similar boat I guess I just felt like venting a bit..... thanks for listening all..

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Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* hanging on... livesinadream 11/16/08 12:52 PM
. * Re: hanging on... billyboi   12/17/08 10:18 PM
. * Re: hanging on... Btony   12/18/08 07:24 AM
. * Re: hanging on... BrokenWingedBird   11/26/08 05:08 AM
. * Re: hanging on... alaricedmonton   11/25/08 03:47 PM
. * Re: hanging on... NYCBob   11/25/08 01:36 PM
. * Re: hanging on... Btony   11/17/08 06:51 AM

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