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Support for professional women diagnosed with HIV
05/28/05 09:14 PM
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I know that this disease doesn't discriminate. But I feel so alone as a black woman living with this disease. I'm the person in the family that everyone looks up to. I attended the best Universities, have a great career, beautiful home and car and a good relationship with my fiance....the perfect life to the outsider. I was diagnosed on May 17...and I'm dealing with this the best way that I can. But, other than my fiance doctor's, and a support group that I attended, no one knows that my life is a living hell. Please don't think badly of me that I feel this way...but of the women/men that I've met with this disease they had all of the classic rick factors (gay/lesbian, drug use, etc.), they're not working now because of various reasons, several did not have any insurance benefits. My behavior is not any more acceptable neither, but I believe that I contracted HIV from my fiance (his results are not in yet) or from a past college boyfriend. I felt odd being in the group, with my Chanel purse sitting next to me and a new Mercedes parked in the garage. I've worked hard and have been blessed...and now I feel that I'm going to lose it all. I'm worried that my job will find out, that I may not be able to work anymore, that I will lose my home, car, and my mind. I'm worried about disappointing and hurting my parents the most -they don't deserve this! I had all of my blood work (CD4, etc.) completed last Monday and now I'm waiting on the results - I'm nervous, what if it's more bad news (Hepatitis, start meds now!, etc.)
I welcome any and all feeback, but I would like to hear from other professional working, educated women who share a similar experience. I also would like to hear from other minority women - we're the most rising population for HIV infection, but yet we still don't communicate with one another enough.
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