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Family and Friends >> My Loved One Has HIV/AIDS


Reged: 05/15/13
Posts: 488
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Re: My husband is HIV+ and I am negative.
      12/28/13 03:27 AM

I have read your posts, including this one ... and have seen where you and your husband need to talk with his doctors and get some detailed information regarding HIV.

Living in fear is not necessary, broken condoms are a concern but it is something that needs to be addressed and with the proper specialist. There are many +/- couples in the world who have very usual sex lives, it's not difficult.

Some of your thoughts in your posts though send out little flags of concern. Having to tell family members about his situation is not called for, you don't need to disclose to people unless you really feel it is necessary and since you are negative, it really is HIS responsibility! Which brings up the next issue you need to talk to him about, he should have NEVER attempted an intimate relationshp with you until he disclosed to you, so you could make an informed decision regarding the chances of transmission, he really dropped the ball, and it borders on "physical assault' in some jurisdictions ... having sex with you knowing he is positive. Undetectable or not, condom or not, it is being a repsonsible person with HIV to inform their sexual partners that there is a risk ... it's never a zero risk, no matter how people try to colour it, as you have seen "broken condom"!

Which now leads to the next matter regarding how he contracted it, when someone has HIV it's a little late to start pointing fingers, you have it, you can't turn back time ... you just have to move forward with understanding and education. Teach others from what you have learned. To use the word "mistake" is wrong, some have contracted it by accident, some from not being informed, some from thinking they were invincible. Whatever the method, closing the gate after the cows got out is pointless. If he still has drug issues, get him some help, I would fear the relationship breaking down from the drug addiction first before HIV. If he is out having unprotected sex with others, keep in mind he could bring something else home with his HIV (STD's/STI's). If you have to point a finger, I would start there going forward, not where he got it, but how, if there is an underlying issue, that he may need help with!

The love you share is wonderful, the underlying thought of "some days I think it would be easier to give up and walk away" ... is that the HIV talking or your commitment to this person talking. If your having doubts with your relationship, maybe you best work on that first, before all this HIV issue. If it "hurts to think of him being in your life or to think of him being abandoned" ... that is extremely selffish and a tad narrow-minded! I will apologise if that sounds offensive, but honestly I think you are questioning your relationship and using HIV as the 'scape-goat!

We as people with HIV do not feel like we need to be in a "little red bag", we are responsible with what we have ... take our meds, visit our medical teams ... just as if we had cancer or diabetes, it's not that big of an issue. It is uninformed uneducated about HIV people who turn it into a big issue!

anotherday ... in paradise!
daily ponder ... be the reason someone smiles today!

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Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* My husband is HIV+ and I am negative. Hopefulheart 12/26/13 09:05 PM
. * Re: My husband is HIV+ and I am negative. jamieharris   06/05/14 02:32 PM
. * Re: My husband is HIV+ and I am negative. jamieharris   06/05/14 02:23 PM
. * Re: My husband is HIV+ and I am negative. delighted2   02/01/14 11:45 PM
. * Re: My husband is HIV+ and I am negative. riverprincessModerator   02/03/14 07:20 PM
. * Re: My husband is HIV+ and I am negative. anotherday   12/28/13 03:27 AM
. * Re: My husband is HIV+ and I am negative. riverprincessModerator   01/04/14 03:16 PM

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