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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

amrit
Newbie

Reged: 02/03/06
Posts: 4
please help! fair judgement required!
      02/08/06 07:32 AM

Hello guys and gals :)
Here is my story that gives me panik 2 months allready.
just as most people i was stupid! and how much stupid!!!
I visited cambodia that is one of the most hiv infected countries in the east and i had a crush on cambodian girls.
i started visiting prostitutes.
i got drunk and went with this prostitute (1 time), had protected sex during which she removed a condom from me wanting to give me oral, i refused and put a same condom back. two days afterwards i get a genital herpes! i obviously got infected from her, becouse i never had it before.
but unfortunately this didnt stop my stupid behaviour.
5 days later i went to see a hooker again (2-nd time) and put 2 condoms and had sex with her.
before i put a first condom i touched her pussy, got some vaginal fluid on the finger, so i wiped the finger (without washing it) and continued to put the condom.
i checked carefully that the condoms are not slipping so that the herpes would not be exposed.
and this is not all.
2 days after the second time i went to another hooker, put two condoms and was doing my job, i checked the condom all the time and i noticed the the condom starts slipping and its' bottom allready at the level of the herpes sore, that was allready all dry, but not entirely healed. i knew that the bottom of condom is all smeared in fluids. i suppose the fluids could touch the herpes a bit.
at that moment i discontinued, went to the bathroom, washed my penis and all was finished.
that's what i thought! no, everything was only starting!
next morning i went to the doctor and told him the story. he checked my herpes sore, told me that this is not yet intact skin and put me on PEP (stavir, epivir, sustiva) 10 hours after last exposure.
2 weeks after starting PEP i had - another herpes outbreak, mouth sores, some rash, diarrea, and what worse - nerve pain all over the body. all this can be side-effect of meds, but i am not sure.
the pain is obviously some kind of peripheral neurolgia. the pain continued until i finished all 30 days of PEP and then it started going away, but up to this day(month later) i feel it sometimes.
I didn't get any kind of flu or fever, or swollen glands.
having all this problems i absolutly convinced myself that i contracted HIV and was (and still i am) under constant stress, with some panik attacks from time to time.
and what gave me more grounds for my belief that i contracted HIV was that 2 weeks after i finished the meds i had one more herpes outbreak accomponied by pain in the legs and 8 days after this outbreak got some real bad pain in upper thighs/legs i allready dont know by what reason becouse i started using herpes suppression, since this time no outbreaks. only now the pains have almost gone..
i am sure the last outbreaks came as a result of HIV virus rising in my blood, becouse i stopped the meds.
but some pain in the legs is still there.
funny, but i didn't get any kind of flu during all this time. not fever, no glands.
but i am convinced the meds suppressed the symptoms.
so the last two months i am all in pains, in guilt and in panik and i am convinced i have HIV.
i didnt go for testing yet - i am afraid.
i need your help.
i need your judgement and support. i didn't have chance to share this with people.
what is my risk? what if i am infected?

love and piece to all HIV people.



--------------------
*** Amrit ****


Post Extras: Remind Me!     Notify Moderator

Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* please help! fair judgement required! amrit 02/08/06 07:32 AM
. * Re: please help! fair judgement required! ravi   02/09/06 11:56 AM
. * Re: please help! fair judgement required! Anonymous   02/09/06 06:59 AM
. * Re: please help! fair judgement required! shadesofgrey   02/08/06 08:47 AM
. * Re: please help! fair judgement required! Anonymous   02/08/06 11:06 AM

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