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Reged: 03/30/12
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will i ever get over the hate?
      #262147 - 03/30/12 01:19 PM

14 yrs after finding out my husband of 7 yrs has been pos since he married me i still hate now remarried w/2 healthy kids but i cant let go of this hatred i have for my ex.i feel so betrayed he lived a lie for 7 yrs.why?

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      #262154 - 03/30/12 05:57 PM

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New User

Reged: 03/19/12
Posts: 12
Loc: MN, USA
Re: will i ever get over the hate? new
      #262185 - 04/01/12 12:35 AM

I have heard it a slightly different way but same effect.

The anger, resentment, and hate is like taking poison and expecting it to hurt him. It doesn't make sense to expect that. Forgiveness is simply the choice to stop taking the poison. I have had to do this more than once in my life. I had to choose to forgive the man that abused me as a child because he will never ask for my forgiveness. Once I did, it freed up the energy I spent on hating and resenting him to be creative and joyful in the other areas of my life. I was really held back in many ways until I did it. It doesn't start out "feeling" like you forgave but the choice starts as a daily choice, then becomes a choice you have to make less and less often.

I hope that helps.

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Reged: 11/22/11
Posts: 67
Re: will i ever get over the hate? new
      #262398 - 04/11/12 04:36 AM

My ex husband knew he was pos 5yrs before we met and married. I chose to forgive him eventhough he doesn't know it. I did it for myself. When I forgave him, it made room in my life for more positive things to enter. That has been 13 yrs. ago and I'm very happy. I've been blessed to be undetectable for the entire 13 yrs. once I started taking the meds. So open your heart and forgive him and free yourself. It's a wonderful feeling.

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Reged: 07/19/07
Posts: 46
Re: will i ever get over the hate? new
      #262802 - 04/30/12 11:52 PM

I didnt find out my status until i was 4 years into my second marriage. little did i know i had contracted HIV from my first husband, and he knew but I NEVER once thought about punishing him or trying to makew his life miserable by reporting him. it would not have changed anything., my second hubby was and still is negative after almost 16 yrs(4 yrs unprotected sex, and 14 yrs of sometimes we wouldnt use a condom) and he got tested yearly. Our 15 yr old daughter whom i carried while HIV+ is negative, healthy and happy. So forgive because forgiveness is for you and you will see how free you will feel once you do that.

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Reged: 01/31/13
Posts: 2
Re: will i ever get over the hate? new
      #270452 - 01/31/13 07:13 PM

You can simply get over the hate by forgiving him. To hold on to such a strong emotion is not good for you, physically, emotionally or spiritually. Believe it or not, it can take a toll on your T-Cell count. Let it go and be healthy.

Living a Full Life

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