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Jennm
Newbie

Reged: 01/06/12
Posts: 6
Need somebody to talk to.
      #259930 - 01/06/12 12:41 PM

Hello, I am new here, And I need somebody to talk too..I'm 90% sure I am HIV positive and I don't know how to cope or deal. It has been 4 years since my exposure and I've had every symptom since. I am so scared because I have nobody to talk to. I'm single with no children and I'm going to be alone and I'm scared..Please somebody private message me so we can talk.I need somebody to talk too in my situation.

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bartlebyAdministrator
Admin

Reged: 01/19/10
Posts: 660
Re: Need somebody to talk to. new
      #259931 - 01/06/12 12:59 PM

What do you mean by 90% sure? Have you tested positive? Symptoms are unreliable. If its been four years since your last possible exposure, this is well past the window period and you just need a test. The result will be conclusive. I wouldn't worry about living with HIV until you actually know for sure.

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Bartleby at The Body
Bulletin Board Administrator

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Jennm
Newbie

Reged: 01/06/12
Posts: 6
Re: Need somebody to talk to. new
      #259934 - 01/06/12 01:12 PM

I am to scared and can't bring myself to do it. I have been through alot this year and just recently had two tumors removed and I'm trying to cope with that. I just don't know if I'm strong enough to hear those words right now.and I'm very scared. 4 years ago I had many partners and I suffer from depression and low self esteem, So I engaged in alot of sex with alot of people. Right after I was exposed I got swollen lymph nodes throughout my body that lasted months, and I had such a bad migraine headache for 4 days straight I couldn't move from my bed and ended up in the ER. This was right after exposure to coincidental. The reason why I am considering going now is because I feel my health deteriorating and I have no energy to even get out of my bed, let alone leave the house. I am so scared and alone.

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AIDS2HIV
Unregistered

Post deleted by Becky new
      #259952 - 01/07/12 08:48 AM



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Jennm
Newbie

Reged: 01/06/12
Posts: 6
Re: Need somebody to talk to. new
      #259956 - 01/07/12 01:30 PM

Thank you so much for your response,I really do appreciate it, And understand what you are saying.Do you mind if I ask you a question. What were the red flags in the blood work? What was off that they questioned? Rbc wbc? And do you know how long you had it before that blood test showed signs? Thank you so much for your time..

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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1797
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: Need somebody to talk to. new
      #259961 - 01/07/12 06:57 PM

Jenn , Listen honey , just go get tested is thats what it takes to make you feel better. Geeze all they need to do is swab the inside of your mout to see if you have any reason for the bloodwork . So come on girl, your stronger than you think. any questions the doctors can answer them all, just write them on a piece of paper and take it with you so you remember what you want to ask them. It's really simple, you've done it before you can do it again. This is the easiest thing to do .

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Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

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AIDS2HIV
Unregistered

Post deleted by Becky new
      #259966 - 01/07/12 11:50 PM



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Jennm
Newbie

Reged: 01/06/12
Posts: 6
Re: Need somebody to talk to. new
      #259969 - 01/08/12 03:41 AM

You are absolutely right, and I'm a strong woman who has overcome alot in her life, and I'm sorry, I'm scared ok. I'm not one of these people that come on here and think one swollen node and a sore throat and I have HIV....NO...I HAVE been with and exposed to it..and I have lost my boyfriend and watched his mother pass away from this..I am so scared because I have nobody to talk to.I only have my mother I'm single and no kids and I'M ALONE...with nobody around me to talk to..My mother would never understand..she is uneducated about this.. I am scared I have nobody around me to turn to...

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kicker
Moderator

Reged: 10/25/10
Posts: 1131
Loc: GA, USA
Re: Need somebody to talk to. new
      #259970 - 01/08/12 06:40 AM

My dad use to have this great saying that I have cleaned up and use it often today.

If one person calls you a duck ignor it.
If two people call you a duck think about it.
If three people call you a duck start quacking.

I am calling this one a lame duck. The story is escalating first it was multiple sex partners now its the boyfriend and his mom. Like I said lame duck.

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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1797
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: Need somebody to talk to. new
      #259971 - 01/08/12 08:24 AM

Alright Jenn , I'm here for you to talk to . But I can't answer questions that only seeing a doctor will resolve. If you need someone to talk to hon I'll listen . But please just don't rant and rave senslessly. We have enough of that here and its exausting . But if you truly want to talk then just PM me.

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Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1797
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: Need somebody to talk to. new
      #259972 - 01/08/12 08:28 AM

I like those F.E.A.R. acronyms. I will take that as my leason for the day.

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Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

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Jennm
Newbie

Reged: 01/06/12
Posts: 6
Re: Need somebody to talk to. new
      #259977 - 01/08/12 11:44 AM

I'm sorry you feel I'm a lame duck. Its hard enough for me to even get up the courage to admit that stuff and talk about it. Never the less..thank you for all of your support.@riverprincess thank you so much, it is nice to know that I have somebody I can talk to..

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coco5th
Newbie

Reged: 01/05/12
Posts: 3
Re: Need somebody to talk to. new
      #259991 - 01/09/12 02:38 AM

I understand that taking that test can be hard, it was so hard for me and I went through about 3 years without getting tested, actually closer to 4. I don't know if I was exposed to it or not but I did have a lot of risky sex. I had a lot of people that I trusted based on their word and I would let them have me any way they wanted. I always "knew" I had been infected. While being exposed to someone who definitely has it is different than me I was exposed to people I have no idea if they did or not. I live in a city where the HIV rate is higher than the over all countries' rate. I was sooooooooooo scared and just "knew" I had it. I cared but the fear of knowing overwhelmed me. I was never ready and kept telling myself I will soon by this age or this age or this age...it's just news you can't unlearn once you hear it, it's frieghtening. I spent many hours in front of the computer analyzing myself and my risk factors and information I read. Everything that went wrong with me was HIV/AIDS related. I had a sore throat a lump or swollen glands it was HIV (in actuality it was my smoking habit that I had for almost a decade that caused me throat problems) So in any case, I finally talked myself into it. If I waited years to find out I had HIV I wouldn't just find out I was HIV positive I'd find out I had AIDS, what's worse than dying from AIDS in 30 years, dying in 10 years from it. Fear keeping you from knowing early so you could track your VL and CD4 and get on meds to prolong your life. While having it is horrible, carving off unnecessary years of your life because of FEAR is even worse. I told myself I have to be alive for this or this all my dreams etc and if I found out now I would be able to hopefully get the meds I need in order to have the longest life possible. So I did it I got my test. I got tested on a friday so my results wouldn't be in until monday. While I thought I'd be nerve racked all weekend I barely thought about it. It was now done. The worst part, the only part I had control over at this point, taking the test was done! So that weekend was a breeze, granted when I got that call monday morning I was shaking but all my worries were diminished. I was negative. I spent 3 years "knowing" worrying, stressing, and over analyzing for nothing. I urge you to get tested, worst case is confirming what you "know" and then getting the treatment you need, best case is you can live without the anxiety and be safe in the future. I'm here if you want to talk.

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tdrop31
Newbie

Reged: 01/09/12
Posts: 1
Re: Need somebody to talk to. new
      #259997 - 01/09/12 01:49 PM

hello i had unprotective in sep 2011 and in oct i started having flu-like symptoms i waited to see if they would go away but they didnt well after 1 week i went to the hospital and told the doctor i had unprotective sex he than gave me a hiv bloodtest the test came back negative i believe i took it to early

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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1797
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: Need somebody to talk to. new
      #260006 - 01/09/12 07:12 PM

Then re-take it in about a month or two


--------------------
Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

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