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HIV Life >> Women

Pages: 1
pecanqtee
Newbie

Reged: 03/03/06
Posts: 2
Telling my teenager
      #178187 - 03/03/06 04:34 PM

I have been living with HIV for almost 3 years. The only people who know my status are my mother, her husband, my aunt, my best friend, and my partner. I am the mother of a wonderful 15 year old son and sister to a fantastic younger brother. I have not been able to bring myself to tell them. We have a very close relationship and talk openly about most things. We talk about sex and them practicing safe sex. I encourage my son to wait, but I am not naive. How do you tell the people you love the most that you are HIV positive?

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AIDS2HIV
Unregistered

Post deleted by Becky new
      #178223 - 03/03/06 08:04 PM



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IzPoZ
Guardian

Reged: 01/24/05
Posts: 398
Loc: FTL, Florida
Re: Telling my teenager new
      #178442 - 03/05/06 10:30 AM

I agree with AIDS2HIV. Be as open and honest with them as best you can. They are mature enough to understand and not turn their backs on you.

Good luck with the talks.

--------------------
The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly. ~ Chesterton G. K.

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Survivor
Legend

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: Telling my teenager new
      #178451 - 03/05/06 12:41 PM

I could not live without sharing my life with those I love and that also means my health.. Its so important. You have so much baggage that you carry when you withhold. When I told my friends, family, Mom and Dad, the weight of the world was lifted. I am very glad I had a positive experience with it...

Love

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Telling my teenager new
      #178786 - 03/07/06 03:49 PM

Told each of mine when they were about 10. They have grown up aware of it, but it's not an overwhelming part of their lives. If you handle it calmly and matter of factly, so will they.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Telling my teenager new
      #178993 - 03/08/06 09:44 PM

I found out I was positive almost 4 years ago and the only people that know are my wife and mother in law. I have two kids and have not told them. they are pre teens and I don't see any reason to tell them. I have learned to live with the disease and don't feel it's anyone's business. If I had cancer or diabetes or any other manageable disease i don't think everyone that I know would need to know. I do eventually plan to tell my children but I am in no rush.

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AIDS2HIV
Unregistered

Post deleted by Becky new
      #178995 - 03/08/06 09:48 PM



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IzPoZ
Guardian

Reged: 01/24/05
Posts: 398
Loc: FTL, Florida
Re: Telling my teenager new
      #179037 - 03/09/06 07:10 AM

My daughter grew up knowing that both her parents have HIV. She was only 12 years old when my husband died. She knew what was wrong with him, and was comfortable telling her friends. Kids are more resilient than you think. Don't try to shelter them and believe they won't understand. Educate them on the disease and explain that it's something that you have to make sure you take good care of yourself and make sure you continue to take your medications. I'm surprised you don't get the questions like "Mommy, why do you take all those medications?" or, "Mommy, why do you go to the doctor all the time?" How do you explain those away?

Not a flame, just pointing out the possibilities... be honest with your kids. They will love you all the same.

--------------------
The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly. ~ Chesterton G. K.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Telling my teenager new
      #179164 - 03/10/06 09:43 AM

I am a member of this because a have a very good friend who is hiv positive and I try to learn all I can to help. I think maybe if i was hiv positive, i would have a hard time telling my family because they would automatically start blaming me. Also they would try to distance themselves from me just because they are not educated about hiv. Thats the big thing, people that don't understand just jump to conclusions about "how" you got it, why you have it and forget that you are still the person they always new, still the person they are suppose to love and care for, and jump to "I don't want to get it" Because they are not educated. So telling your children would seem difficult to me, especially at that age. Maybe you could make sure they understand about hiv, before you tell them?

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OhTam
Regular

Reged: 02/03/06
Posts: 33
Loc: Ohio
Re: Telling my teenager new
      #182743 - 03/27/06 09:48 PM

All I can say is that educating them about HIV as well as other sexually transmitted diseases before they become sexually active is of utmost importance. You need to let them know you have it and educate them because then they are less likely to think " I'll never get it". Knowing you have it will make them aware that ANYONE can get it. We were honest with our children and they had questions sure but we answered them as best we could. We were blindsided with my husband testing positive. But it never changed the way any of the family felt about him. Choice is always the parents but I myself would much rather let my children know than to hide it and have them be careless and end up with it.

--------------------
if it weren't for all the trash in this world we wouldn't need garbage men!

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franfrog
Legend

Reged: 01/05/06
Posts: 1342
Loc: NJ
Re: Telling my teenager new
      #182799 - 03/28/06 07:43 AM

That is my situation. I know I will educate my children (11 and 8) on it but right now is not the time. I know I will know when the time is. They are already being educated on it.

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Survivor
Legend

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: Telling my teenager new
      #182981 - 03/28/06 09:27 PM

What century are we living in. Jesus, its 25 years later and people dont know what the fuck HIV/AIDS is all about. Its infecting people at the same rate as it was 25 years ago. What do you think is wrong with that picture. I for one have educated anyone and everyone in my family, my close friends, my bosses, my peers and I have had nothing but love and support. Not sympathy, I wont except that. Nor do I want that. I want to live just like anyone else. And if I need to deal with an HIV issue (god forbid) they will understand I am dealing with a chronic condition that needs some supervision. This is NOT a dirty secret. Stop treating it as such. I get very angry if I here anything like that kind fo conversation around me. I will walk right up to that person and confromt him or her and say. Get a fucking clue, learn something and quit watching that God dam Tom Hanks fucked up movie! Its not that anymore. We contribute just as much to society as any other group. We infact (I feel) have a deeper understanding to the human equation to life than anyone possibly could know. If you dont educate, if you decide to walk around with this secret in your back pocket for years, I feel is doing you more psychological damage than you realize. I for one am not going to walk on EGG SHELLS the rest of my existance...

Ps.. I am sorry, but I just feel that right now. My husband is dealing with anothe health issue other than his HIV and I am really am building my fortitude to fight this thing now. HIV your history for awhile for me!!!!!!!!!

Love

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franfrog
Legend

Reged: 01/05/06
Posts: 1342
Loc: NJ
Re: Telling my teenager new
      #183035 - 03/29/06 07:42 AM

I will say again, I think you are right but unfortunatly society is still in the dark about this and very oblivious. I think this will be an ongoing thing no matter how much you try to educate anyone. I think they like to shut their eyes to it and think it will never happen again and that is how it is going to stay like it or not.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Telling my teenager new
      #183159 - 03/29/06 02:57 PM

[quote]I have been living with HIV for almost 3 years. The only people who know my status are my mother, her husband, my aunt, my best friend, and my partner. I am the mother of a wonderful 15 year old son and sister to a fantastic younger brother. I have not been able to bring myself to tell them. We have a very close relationship and talk openly about most things. We talk about sex and them practicing safe sex. I encourage my son to wait, but I am not naive. How do you tell the people you love the most that you are HIV positive? [/quote]

pecanqtee,

I know you are in a tough position. I have been where you are 8 years ago wondering the same thing. How can I tell my kids that I am HIV positive, it was the hardest thing for me to do but it had to be done.

If you have a close relationship with your son and you think he can handle what you have to say to him sit him down and tell him. If you think he cannot handle it hold off on telling him. Talk to him oenly like you do about sex, hi, aids, std's ask him how will he treat someone he knows that have HIV and listen to what he has to say and according to what he tells you then you will know if to tell him or not.

I did tell my kids and watch them go through the shock, disbelief, fear, thinking that their mom was going to die and leave them. We talked and talked and talked took them to my doctor so he can explain to them what I am dealing with. I gave them space to deal with the news and let them know they can ask me anything. It was hard at first but it got better.

It will get better.


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FLYEAGLE
Member

Reged: 06/27/05
Posts: 11
Loc: PA
Re: Telling my teenager new
      #196292 - 06/16/06 02:03 AM

i have been really depressed about this very issue i have two lil girls 1 i have had full custody of for 9 years. the other lives with her mother who i c every other weekend. my oldest is the one i have raised since she was 1 yr old. her and i are very close i am basically all she has in life her mom is a waste my concern is how do i tell a ten year old i have this disease? or is she too young? i promised her id be there for her always.......now i dont know if i will be here tomorrow.... her sister is only 8 i have been struggling with this for a few months now any advice???

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