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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

Pages: 1
ChrisBakerz
Newbie

Reged: 02/17/14
Posts: 2
Maybe Positive and Scared
      #275449 - 02/17/14 08:11 PM

Hi, I am 19 years old and I'm just really scared right now I recently took a trip to the hospital and they tested me for hiv and it came back reactive. I'm so confused because I've have always been safe because I knew HIV was a reality. Now that I know I may have it I'm just terrified and the reading I've been doing online isn't helping. Also I will be dealing with this all alone because I don't have the heart to tell my family, please I just really need someone to talk to about everything.

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anotherday
Moderator

Reged: 05/15/13
Posts: 418
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Re: Maybe Positive and Scared new
      #275450 - 02/17/14 10:41 PM

Well first off Chris, don't be afraid, you are not alone ... you have everyone here on this site to chat with and share your journey with. Many people go for months and even years before disclosing to anyone. Take your time and do things when they are comfortable for you!

Next ... STOP surfing the internet for answers, get yourself a good HIV specialist / doctor, that is your BEST resource. There is so much muddled information and contradicting statements online that it gets people's minds racing. You have your ideas and you surf and surf until you find a thread of something that matches your thoughts and it just builds from there.

If you need to just talk this out, please feel free to throw me a private note, we can chat! Just don't be scared, it's not as nasty as some may say and definitely not as nasty as alot of internet jargon makes it sound! Stay cool!

--------------------
anotherday ... in paradise!
daily ponder ... be the reason someone smiles today!

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ChrisBakerz
Newbie

Reged: 02/17/14
Posts: 2
Re: Maybe Positive and Scared new
      #275451 - 02/18/14 12:01 AM

Thank you for replying Anotherday. Also, yes I think I may be freaking myself out here but I am just a little nervous because I won't be able to see a doctor until the end of February and not knowing anything is just stressing me out. I am glad I came across this site however. The support here is great from what I've read from others post. I'm feeling more hopeful, now hopefully I can shake my regret for allowing myself to become infected.

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anotherday
Moderator

Reged: 05/15/13
Posts: 418
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Re: Maybe Positive and Scared new
      #275462 - 02/18/14 10:56 PM

Hey Chris, well feeling a little nervous and anxious is a normal reaction ... to everything ... when we have to wait for test results, job interview, meeting new people. The key is to just relax and let what happens ... happen. If your HIV+, just be thankful that in todays world it's very managable! Sure it has alot of "stigma" and the sort with it, but if you manage it the way you feel comfortable with it, no problem.

The end of February is not that long off, take the time to get yourself educated about HIV. This website has some extremely useful information, but again don't just surf for symptoms or adverse reactions. Learn how to live with HIV, manage it in your daily life. I am on meds called Atripla, been on it since about last April, and to be very honest the only time I know I have HIV is when I have to take my pill. One pill, once a day at 10PM and I "remember" I have HIV. That's how easy it is to care for.

Forget regret, it's pointless. Instead look to educate, yourself, and any one else in your life that might put themselves at risk. Take a pro-active approach to dealing with this and your boost of confidence will deminish any regrets you carry.

It's not a big deal, I want to hear more from you, your journey and what your doing to make HIV part of your life. Remember always though ... HIV is just along for the ride, you still drive the car!

Private me anytime if you need to chat away from the open forums!

--------------------
anotherday ... in paradise!
daily ponder ... be the reason someone smiles today!

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iam1
Fanatic

Reged: 06/17/09
Posts: 163
Loc: Georgia
Re: Maybe Positive and Scared new
      #275495 - 02/20/14 04:22 AM

Welcome to an ever growing club of people we wish would loose membership by people being cured. Unfortunately, that isn't happening today, so we all just have to deal with this the best we can.

I'm going to tell you what I tell everybody else I know when they first find out they're HIV+ - BREATH! Most people want to have a panic attack. There is little to no reason for this, but try to explain that to someone who just found out they have a deadly, incurable disease.

Wait a minute....

With current treatments HIV may no longer be deadly. The jury is still out on that one. It is incurable, but that doesn't mean it need take anything away from your life.

We are living in a terrific time for the treatment of HIV. The disease has been active in society for more than 30 years, so we've learned LOTS. But, there is still much we don't know. So, when you ask someone a question and they tell you they don't know - DON'T PANIC!

You aren't the first, and you won't be the last to contract this disease. Would that you were. But, thanks to a lack of good education (something you've already realized) people will continue to try to ignore this disease. They think if we don't talk about it it doesn't exist.

BREATH!

This is new to you. There are probably about a million webpages with "official" information that is absolutely "correct". The place you should come back to over and over to get the best information is here. The people who run this website take the time to verify information and as far as I know have managed to avoid printing falsehoods. There will be conflicting information from one webpage to another as you do research on HIV. Compare it to what you find here. If the subject isn't covered here they give you the opportunity to ask an expert. Or, you can post a comment in this section and get comments back from those of us who have been living with this disease.

BREATH!

You're going to have questions. Lots and lots of questions that HAVE to be answered right away! Write them down and take them with you to the clinic when you go for your appointment. Write them down and check this website to see if the answer is here somewhere.

Make full use of people. I'm not saying you should call them up at all hours of the day and night, but when you have an appointment you'll be see by more than one person. Almost always by a nurse. The nurses who work this field are generally intelligent. Often times they'll know an answer or be able to find out for you. There are some things you'll need to speak about with the doctor, but generally the support staff at any HIV clinic knows quite a bit about how the disease works and what you need to do to keep yourself healthy.

BREATH!

Realize that all the questions you have are important to you. But, someone else has probably already asked every question you have. There are answers to most questions. Sometimes the answer will make sense. Other times it may not. Please don't go on a rampage and kill your doctor if he/she gives you an answer you don't like.

HIV can be a complicated disease. And, yes, it can be deadly if you don't take care of yourself the way you should. The answer you get to your question may not be the answer someone else gets to the same question.

You are an individual. The clinic staff takes this into account when treating your disease. HIV won't be the same in you as it is in everybody else. It isn't the same in everybody else, either. Again, you're an individual. There are general treatment guidelines that have been established over the many years this disease has been treated. The guidelines are constantly reviewed and updated as needed. Share your experiences with this disease, but don't be surprised if the person sitting next to you always has a different experience.

BREATH!

The first question everybody asks - how long do I have to live? The simple answer is - no one knows. They couldn't have told you how long you had to live last year. 3 years ago. 14 years ago. You live until you die. The thing is to make the most out of the life you have here. Don't sit in a dark room and be glum. Get out. Enjoy life every day you can. Appreciate the small things. Appreciate the large things.

This forum will always be here for you to talk with anybody or everybody. Post a comment. Post a question. Get a response from someone somewhere. You aren't alone. Please never think you are! You may not be able to talk with family about HIV now, but there will be someone somewhere who can talk with you. At your clinic. At a local support group. Online in a space like this where there is no judgement to be passed on you for anything. Life isn't always going to be a bowl of cherries. But, chances are nearly 100% that it's not always going to be a bowl of the pits, either. Sometimes things won't go the way you want. But, that's life. That happens to everybody. Make the best of the good and shrug off the bad as quickly as possible.

I've been living with HIV for longer than 25 years. Years before you were even born. Had my first test back in 1988. Feels like another lifetime. I think back over the years at what I've done and what I've failed to do. I haven't missed out on much. I don't sit home and wait for someone to bring me life on a platter. I get out and take my life and use it to the best of my ability.

I'm turning 50 this year. I tell people when I die (in another 25 or 30 years) I don't want to be a well preserved corpse. I want to slide into home plate having run the bases the fastest anyone ever has with more joy and exuberance than anybody else has ever shown!

As Auntie Mame says - You've got to LIVE!!!

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heart
Moderator

Reged: 09/01/12
Posts: 41
Loc: united states
Re: Maybe Positive and Scared new
      #275496 - 02/20/14 08:06 AM

Absolutely wonderful comments from you and another day!
Very well said; wish I could share these with everyone dealing with the fear after diagnosis!
Be Blessed!

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RAZ_CT
Newbie

Reged: 12/06/11
Posts: 2
Loc: USA, NY/CT
Re: Maybe Positive and Scared new
      #275497 - 02/20/14 10:00 AM

AnotherDay is right. Don't google. Although google is a good source for information, this is something to really be left to health professionals, each diagnosis is different. But this website is a great resource for educating yourself on it which you should start now so when you see your Doctor you'll kind of know whats being discussed making it easier to digest

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richie
Newbie

Reged: 02/27/14
Posts: 2
Re: Maybe Positive and Scared *DELETED* new
      #275527 - 02/27/14 09:42 AM

Post deleted by richie

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richie
Newbie

Reged: 02/27/14
Posts: 2
Re: Maybe Positive and Scared new
      #275528 - 02/27/14 09:44 AM

Quote:

hivdh yf uru tuitu




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Gardener
Newbie

Reged: 12/19/13
Posts: 6
Loc: East coast
Re: Maybe Positive and Scared new
      #275604 - 03/06/14 08:55 PM

Hi Chris. I just read your post. I hope you're doing ok. I tested positive last August. It was a shock and I felt paralyzed at first. I was very sad about it. Still am sometimes. Some days are good and I forget about it. Other days I can't stop thinking about it. I started meds in November. I'm undetectable and no side effects. I must say it gets easier and life seems to move on. I'm kind of surprised how I've adjusted so fast in some ways. Other areas I'm still sorting through which I think will take time. Hang in there. You'll be ok. Send me a private message if you want to talk.

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