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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

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Reged: 09/29/13
Posts: 11
Newly Diagnosed
      #274096 - 09/29/13 08:10 PM

Hello everyone. this is my first time posting in any site but I want to share my story, make some friends, network, get support and be someone's support. I am a bbw living in nyc who is trying to live, and finally love myself. I have had my breaking down moments. First person I told was my boyfriend, that was so hard to do but I owed him that much because I felt guilty knowing this and not being honest. He went to his doctor and he is negative. I thought he would abandon me but he is still by my side. I was very surprised. Next person I have semi told is my sister because she is my best friend and I need her support. And I would hate for anything to happen to me and no one in my family knew anything.

Before I got diagnosed, I hate to say it but I already saw this day coming because I had some slip ups. I would regularly go to the Free Std clinic and pray sitting in the seat. Lord please let me negative, and if for some reason I am not help me to deal with it. Everything was fine until I did the swab testing instead of the blood for the first time and I got the diagnosis. I was numb but also somewhat prepared but not prepared.

Since the diagnosis this summer my life, thought process has changed.Thank God I have a job, takes my mind away for most part of the day. It gets lonely and depressing because I live alone. I try not to beat myself up with the who what where when why..I have been to a clinic that has great support. I am not on meds yet because I have stomach issues so I have to see a gastroologist first. I have been recommended to take Stribild. I hate pills but I know I have to do this. I think I am still in denial and just wish this would disappear.

I have apologized to God I even apologized to myself for my careless actions.. I try not to think of death but think of a long health life. I am not ready to tell my mother. I am in a new atmosphere realizing life is not over, there are a lot of people living with it, dealing with it and still loved with it..
I don't have any children but one day I still wish I could.
I will be posting from time to time.

I thank you for reading this..if you can give me some info, encouraging words please do so..

Edited by PeaceBeStill (09/29/13 08:14 PM)

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Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1895
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: Newly Diagnosed new
      #274098 - 09/29/13 09:43 PM

I always hate to welcome people here but since lifes turns in strange directions may I be the first to welcome you to this great site. Your going to meet many folks that will share encouragement , and knowledge. Its a wonderful support system. Feel free to ask anything . and your always welcomed to pm us if you want to talk about a private personal issue. We women do have different issues from men. And not everyone is comfortable talking about it out loud. But once again welcome .

Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

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Reged: 05/15/13
Posts: 488
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Re: Newly Diagnosed new
      #274099 - 09/30/13 04:24 AM

One small step for man ... one giant step for mankind!

Yeah we heard that back in what 1967 when man first walked on the moon, well the journey with HIV can be the same way ... this little step you have taken is a giant step for all mankind with and without HIV. It's the step of sharing, courage, enlightenment ... with each story told, with each life experience we all learn.

Welcome to a wonderful place of enlightenment, stories of courage and inspiration ... we truely look forward to sharing our journies with you and of course us sharing in your journey!

Your never alone, you always have us!

anotherday ... in paradise!
daily ponder ... be the reason someone smiles today!

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