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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

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New User

Reged: 03/11/13
Posts: 2
Loc: Caribbean
Depression is swallowing my being
      #271082 - 03/11/13 03:29 PM

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure if I'm in the right post, but I've been positive for a 15 months now...not sure if that still qualifies as "recently diagnosed" but those months have been rocky, as I'm sure it has been for many of you. I'm seeking some support because I'm from a small island in the Caribbean and the stigma around HIV is very much rampant in small communities such as mine.

Over the past few months, It seems as though my depression has taken over my life, currently I live with my roommate, who I've been in a relationship with for the past 3 years, and whom I suspect I contracted HIV from. Our relationship has since watered down. I don't have any immediate family around and no one knows of my status besides my doctor and my roommate.

At the start of last year I began my undergraduate studies to take my mind off of the HIV, however now it seems the depression and loneliness of having HIV has taken over my drive to succeed and I can hardly find the energy to focus on my studies. I feel so alone and lost and I'm desperately seeking some support to help me through these testing times.

Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read and respond.

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Reged: 03/07/13
Posts: 50
Loc: SE US
Re: Depression is swallowing my being new
      #271085 - 03/11/13 06:15 PM

You are not alone. No matter where you are in the world you have brothers and sisters who share this disease.
Support is essential. You can get it here if nowhere else. Stay in touch with us.
I am newly diagnosed - late stage AIDs...I have learned so much here. There are people here who truly care about each other and our common illness.
I was depressed before HIV. Abstinence from alcohol and behavior modification have helped me. I've been on a mild SSRI for 12 years. It keeps me out of the dark bottoms in the valleys of life. I do have support in the form of recovery fellowship, family, and friends with whom I've disclosed. It is a comfort to know I have this resource available to me as well.
You are not alone. You are accepted here.

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Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1895
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: Depression is swallowing my being new
      #271090 - 03/12/13 12:05 AM

Like was just said , you will fine alot of support here. It's not important that " everyone " in your life knows . But just to have some that knows what its like , is what helps. And do ask your dr about possible anti-depressant. It can help as you continually come to terms with yourself. And it does start with ones self Again feel free to stop by anytime you need to talk

Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

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New User

Reged: 03/13/13
Posts: 1
Re: Depression is swallowing my being new
      #271103 - 03/13/13 05:37 AM

B4 replying I googled "Grenadian Health Care" to see what was available on the island. Contact The Community Health Services nearest you. It's free and they should be able to provide you with anti-depressant meds and maybe if your lucky some counseling.I hope they are providing you with HIV treatment. Read as much as you can online how to gain the upper hand on depression as it now has it's hand over you. You WILL live to use your education. I had my 60th birthday Jan 27. Was diagnosed HIV pos Aug,1983. That is 30 years this summer. Back then it was felt we had months to a couple years left. Even in a major U.S. city there was plenty of anti- gay/HIV stigma to go around let me tell you. I was a waiter when just being gay made one suspect of being "diseased". You're going to get your degree, leave Grenada, find a job, and live a long time and have many more men and friends in your life.

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New User

Reged: 03/21/13
Posts: 2
Re: Depression is swallowing my being new
      #271288 - 03/21/13 08:36 PM

I spent 15 years after being diagnosed HIV+ seeing a psychiatrist and was still constantly depressed. I was also using tina which made the depression worse. When I decided to stop the t, I found a website called "Rational Recovery" and it's main thrust was that only I have the power to says no to any drug. The drug may tug at me at times but I am in control. Using this philosophy, I was able to totally stop the t and have never done it agaiin. Shortly after, I decided to apply this concept to the depression which was ruining my life. I decided to accept things as they were and that I really had no time or interest in being depressed. Being depressed is hard work and I found this strategy worked. I no longer need the shrink and am living my life without the constant depressing feelings. When depression starts to tug at me, I remember that only I can control it and I have no time for feeling depressed. I can only tell you this worked for me and I would recommend it as something to try. Yes, I have lost my profession (I was a surgeon which I could no longer continue), I eventually lost some friends for fear of telling them but that is all in the past. I have wasted too much time being depressed and I will not let it win again. Life goes by quickly; don't let depression rob you of any of those precious years.

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New User

Reged: 07/31/13
Posts: 2
Re: Depression is swallowing my being new
      #273236 - 08/01/13 04:41 AM

Depression is more than simply feeling unhappy or fed up for a few days.
We all go through spells of feeling down, but when you're depressed you feel persistently sad for weeks or months, rather than just a few days.


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